It's The Self That Matters

(To Be Completed Shortly)

THE MANDALORIAN: This Is The Way

The world's most successful space-themed franchise brought forward by the mind of George Lucas, has in recent years become one of the many big talks of the internet through it's third trilogy and several animated adventures. But in spite of all commercial achievements, these discussions shared between millions of people around the globe haven't exactly been as approving of the modern direction. The handling of Star Wars by the Walt Disney Company since its purchase from Lucas seven years ago, continues to create a divide amongst numerous hardcore fans and pop culture enthusiasts. The most recent major release which was Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, had seen such tensions between all resurface and become more prominent than ever before. As of now, the ninth episode is the worst critically received film of the series since 1999's Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. And from this, the word would be whether or not the franchise could reach the heights it once did. Meanwhile, Disney would begin its own streaming service and provide a few brand new original programmes. One of them in particular, would fast become the number one watched show globally in the space of its first two or three weeks of airing. And surprise surprise, it is Star Wars related.

Before I continue on, I must remind everyone that this isn't just any ordinary view. I Travis James (first and middle name), can willingly confirm of my failure to grow up with any part of the popular franchise. Despite having watched one or two of the films many years ago, I have since not shown much interest in viewing any of them again (though I do hope that will change sooner or later). And to this day, I haven't managed to find the time to sit back and enjoy each episode along with the cartoons. Readers of this piece both fans and non-fans of Star Wars, may understandably consider my thoughts as somewhat ineffective in terms of persuasion due to my unintended ignorance. However, I believe that my words will be enough to surprise and earn a little respect. Especially since my view of the series in discussion is that of extreme approval. I implore all to continue reading and hear what I have to say about one of 2019's hottest new shows; The Mandalorian.

It started off as something I tried to get away from, but I couldn't. For just over three weeks, I was doing my usual thing whilst displeased by the overflowing content based around the new show. Everything was suddenly about the trailers as well as the memes of a baby alien. Not to mention a majority of my favourite YouTube reactors (My 'Reaction' Feels) were immediately jumping in with regular reactions and reviews of the insanely popular web series. It got to the point where I was left with no choice but to join in on the action. Strangely at the time just before jumping into The Mandalorian, I did somehow find myself carrying the tiniest bit of interest. With some time to spare, I took the liberty of viewing the first four chapters all in one night. The next thing I knew, I was hooked and desperately begging for the next chapter to be released. I didn't know what it was, nor could I believe it. My lack of knowledge in Star Wars didn't stop the story being easy to follow. It didn't prevent me from engaging in both the atmosphere and what took place. It didn't stop me from admiring the unique structure, awe-inspiring visuals and cinematic score. Within three or so hours, The Mandalorian instantly became my favourite show.

Allow me to prove enough of my newfound knowledge without spoiling anything too significant. The series takes place within the thirty years that separate the events of Return of the Jedi and Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It focuses on one particular Mandalorian (played by Chilean actor Pedro Pascal), who as a child was rescued and raised into the religion after the purge of his home. Many years later, he is seen as a lone bounty hunter working for a guild to earn armour and weapon upgrades. In the first season, he with his hunger for work is trusted with the major task of tracking the most obscure yet insanely valuable asset. This is not long later revealed to be a child of the same species as Yoda. A bond begins to form as more time is spent with the child, and the Mandalorian grows a soft spot for it. Such heart leads to an ultimate change of attitude, which brings further chaos upon everyone as imperial forces grow. The titular character is forced to face a great ordeal with the child in his care, all while meeting new allies and handling other daunting tasks.

The first season consists of eight chapters, all of which allow the show to embrace both episodic and serial-structured storytelling. While such an approach has opened questions about rough pacing and has left audiences now and then divided, The Mandalorian would remain somewhat grounded and find ways to keep everybody united. One of its finest idiosyncrasies involves its rediscovery of the Star Wars universe. It takes material from many of the films, cartoons and video games, merging them well enough while forging its own original and imaginative tale. Even better is how self-aware it can occasionally be as well as how it communicates and engages with viewers. Jon Favreau, Dave Filoni and the rest of the crew have gone far as to acknowledge both our opinions and those of the general public, using them to often provide nostalgia or comedic content (e.g. making fun of a stormtrooper's aim). The Mandalorian in its entirety, is something more than just another Star Wars project. It's a gift for the people.

Notwithstanding the star attraction that has everyone feeling warm and fuzzy, no light is taken away from its protector who immediately becomes a warrior worth following. First seen as a man of business shrouded from head to toe in cool-looking gear, the Mandalorian himself is quick to reveal multiple different attributes that help with presenting a necessary level of depth. No amount of courage and smarts would have him evade the pain and trauma of his past. There is rarely a moment when he isn't exuding relatable human traits. They sometimes come off so strong, that everybody is left able to read his emotions through either the sound of his voice or simply the focused looks he gives. Turns out that iron helmet and dark, tinted visor don't quite protect him from everything. However, this is a sign of fantastic character development. Perhaps we're to even give extra credit to those responsible for putting him together. And I'm not just referring to Pascal, especially since his availability to perform the Mandalorian wasn't always there.

An even greater level of attention is placed on the much-loved prime relationship between Mando and the child. Despite its occasional departures from the main course, the series never loses sight of the important themes which stem from its unorthodox pairing. Whether it be the components of parenthood or the common topic that is nature versus nurture, Mando's complex yet intriguing attachment to this unlikely partner is the genesis of almost every single one of our responses as viewers. Both the emotional reactions and informative discussions. Growth surrounding the duo fast leads to the establishment of an indestructible cornerstone. The show's main source of oxygen and the super effective magnet that continues pulling in large numbers. If you ask anybody what gets them tuning in, it would obviously be the adorableness of the child. But I thoroughly believe the next best answer would be the child alongside this unusual yet admirable surrogate father.

With a monster budget, Favreau and Filoni always ensure it is put to good use. The latest in technologies and filming techniques, have them delivering a work of art capable of looking both incredibly realistic and cemented into the Star Wars universe. To help stick out from most modern television and web projects, The Mandalorian oozes professionalism in just about every department from the screen to the crew and cutting floor. A strong emphasis is placed on the story being that of a natural one, all whilst mixing in the much-required flavour of amusement. And it's fair to say, all of it successfully works out. All one needs to do is look and listen. The wondrous landscapes hamornised with the perfect lighting. The orchestral, movie-like music which never fails to match the accompanying scene. The cast of colourful people that never ever break character. It's as if every small piece was derived from complete concentration and hard thought. The sort of focus Leonardo da Vinci used when painting the 'Mona Lisa'. 

The Mandalorian widens its target audience with various elements of different genres, providing the complete entertainment experience. For the most part, we receive a modern space adventure that's heavily influenced by old westerns. Sneaking into the picture are plenty of thrilling moments and comedic undertones. And further keeping eyes glued are the frequent easter eggs and tie-ins that always leave the audience smiling or dropping their jaws in amazement. There are clever cameos. There are riveting references. And best of all, the show acknowledges us. It hears our voice, and often meets us on several grounds. This only strengthening the connection with the Star Wars fan base and making The Mandalorian more enticing than ever before. Plus one cannot ignore the talents of Pascal along with Gina Carano as the 'badass' Cara Dune, the experienced Carl Weathers as Greef Karga and Giancarlo Esposito as the formidable Moff Gideon.

So there you have it. Not a completely deep or profound analysis of the series, given I am not that much of an expert. However, my words should mean something. Remember that my knowledge and taste in Star Wars is not by any means strong. I have come across one or two of the movies and have walked out nothing but confused. The cartoons are completely untouched. My understanding of the Star Wars encyclopedia and the terminology is still that of a beginner. None of this though, has prevented me from seeing the best in this beauty of a show. Question Disney's treatment of the famous franchise as much as you wish. But there is no faulting the brilliance of the streaming service's biggest original programme. If you haven't seen it or are yet to, I urge you to hurry and give it a shot. It was one of my best decisions ever made, and I look forward to more of what it will offer. Season two, here I come!

Travis "TJ" James

It's Only Natural

Brain Twister

Coin For The Heart

I 'See' The Light

Photo Credit: IthTheSmith (wallhere.com). Further Edited by Travis James H. Not intentionally used for commercial purposes.

Oh how I'm a dead set idiot. For so long it was right in front of me, staring me in the face and I did not recognise it. The fact I've been posting nothing but photos on Instagram. The fact I have even created a blog to share all the things I love talking about. Several times here, I have highlighted the power of individuality and personal expression. Several times here, I have discussed my vision of art and imagination. And every time I was sharing my thoughts and knowledge, I never once realised a potential gift. This blog could easily be more than just a hobby of mine or a story of my life so far. It can be the engine of my career and a story yet to be told. Perhaps I have found my calling. Perhaps something or someone has reached out to me and awaits my arrival. And judging by my past experiences with the outside world, I'm seeing most of the dots connect together. Ladies and gentlemen, I now believe my future lies in digital art, graphics design and photography.

I suppose I'm to quickly establish the link between myself and the decision I made. Well first, allow me to introduce myself to those of you who are new here and again to those who already know a bit about me. I am Travis James, a self-proclaimed artist (learn of my definition of the term down below). Somebody who is passionate about the importance of people as individuals. Somebody who is desperate to forward their vision to the world. Somebody who is eager to display human emotion and human expression in the simplest of ways. Somebody who enjoys exploring the endless possibilities of reality and merging boundaries with dreams and imagination. Somebody who wants to recreate ideas and twist them into something both new and appropriate. Most importantly, I am somebody who hopes to make new friends and build new relationships. I am chasing for the love and support I have never once experienced in my 23 years of living so far.

When most think of the term 'artist', they lean towards such things as musicians, painters or sculptors. I however, see Art as something far greater. Everywhere I go, I see people are merely going about their lives and accepting the world they live in. They do things daily without asking themselves why. Many of them socialise with other people and talk about stuff they enjoy. Many of them welcome new ideas and each of them deep down carry both dreams and ideas of their own. Rarely do they stop and question their decisions or contemplate the existence of certain things. Rarely do they hurt themselves searching for the difficult answers to science. Being an artist doesn't necessarily mean one has to create artwork. All they need to do is have fun and appreciate what already exists. In my eyes, artists aren't just the painters of pictures or the singers of songs. They are the livers of life and the embracers of imagination.

Contemporary and digital art is the art of today and the art I now and then demonstrate to some extent. From the simple yet filtered photos of me to those depicting the beauty of nature. For the most part, my content revolves around both myself and my vision of surroundings. It is me attempting to find emotional connections and address the significance of not only my thoughts and feelings, but thoughts and feelings in general. In nearly every photo on my Instagram page, hides a message or several messages. Some are positive like the security from a face mask or the tranquility from a stroll in the local reserve. Other messages however, speak of my pain and greatest fears. Many of my self-photography shots have explored despair, guilt, loneliness, regret, and torture. Whether it be dark greyscale, a cold blue filter or a faint light, inside every picture of me is a small dark tale of mine. And while I cannot deny the chances I'm being hard on myself, I also find comfort in sharing such raw details.

But it is not all doom and gloom for me as what I too love capturing is the outside world (in particular nature and wildlife). I adore everything about the peaceful open spaces of parks and other land barely touched by human hands. I enjoy my involvement with them and I even like merging them with technology in a visual manner. By that, I mean twisting the lights and colours of such things like the sky and trees. Wouldn't seem like much to most people, but I manage to gather a few ideas from the activity. It is another search for comfort, almost like creating my own world. Not only that, but changing such elements allows me to wonder about the possibilities regarding eyesight. What a different pair of eyes other than mine perceive. The idea of my red being your blue. I see it all as another way to emphasise how subjective art is and how important diversity is. It even hints how we as our own selves matter (hence the title of my blog).

I feel as if digital art and photography will help me immensely with self-expression. With great accessibility and better resources, my passion will speak louder than ever before and touch on new and exciting ideas. I see this path also helping me meet new people, some of which will help me gain social confidence and ensure I reach the heights I so desire. And based on what I do and how I approach art, this field of study seems like the best match. I take photography and today's style of art very seriously. Every shot I capture on my phone and share on the internet has a story behind it. I don't just do things to pass the time away. I do things to ensure they last with me. Photography of people and places at the moment comes across as my ultimate voice. It's my form of remarkable and something I believe I can carry with me till the very end. You all know how that saying goes. The one of a picture painting a thousand words. That is pretty much me in a nutshell.

It beats me how I've taken so long to figure out this was the answer. At the very least though, I could say I know half of the reason why. In my piece 'That Long And Winding Road', I discussed about some of my greatest fears including the journey and the potential outcomes. I mentioned how frightened I was of the journey being too long and that I wouldn't complete it on time. The most interesting thing I shared however, was my fear of what success would look like. That remains the case still, especially now I have discovered a clearer pathway. I'm afraid the reward won't mean anything and that the journey was a waste of time. I'm afraid I won't meet the right people or find the right help. Sometimes we all have to face our fears, but I can't help believing the risks will hurt me more than others since I have nobody to support me. As for failure, it doesn't scare me as much since I know perseverance is key. If I keep knocking, somebody is bound to let me in.

You might think it is me just seeking your sympathy, but it isn't. What you are about to read is actually 100% true. I really do have no proper support. My family doesn't understand my decisions. My mother always searches for negative things to say while both my father and brother are somewhat apathetic. One of my aunts gets on my back without providing any options. I grew up with very few friends and those very few friends are now distant, rarely contacting me. I have no close connections with anybody of my chosen field (or any of my other interests for that matter). I am indeed an outsider. I can't say I'm a loner as I don't always choose to be alone and I can't say I'm a pariah as nobody has quite rejected me. But it does seem at times like I'm forgotten or like I'm a wasted soul. Either that, or like I'm the only person living on Earth. There are some things I know I must do on my own like everybody else, which I most certainly accept. But when there are no close friends or moral support within my reach (not even one person to be there and say I can prove people wrong and succeed), it makes everything so much harder for me.

Did you know it is natural for all to sympathise more for someone who is blind compared to someone who is deaf? It especially hurts me more to see blind people because it is like half of their life has already been taken away. Vision means everything to me, and I'm sure it means a lot to others as well. To see everything in it's purest form. To see the the green grass and the blue sky. To see the world busy everyday. To see smiles on peoples faces and the creativity others possess. It's one of the reasons why sight is arguably the greatest gift of them all. And it makes the camera one of the finest inventions to exist. Something to capture the best moments. Something to record experiences and create memories. Something that forwards imagination and helps allow for voices to be heard. Rather than fine print, I want my story to be told in pictures. A way that's easy for most and welcomes different interpretations. Everything has led me to this point in time.

Of course the challenges of achieving my hopes and dreams remain as they are. But now truly knowing what it is I do, the paths have been narrowed down and I feel some things do appear on the up for me. Now it is a matter of finding the right people to help me. I am now on the search for the best advice, as I look for the course and figure out when to begin. For too long I've sat around in misery, thinking there wasn't many places for me to shine and be the person I am. It is time for change. Time for me to take action as the new year approaches ever so close. If you are reading this and happen to know somebody who works in a similar field (preferably from my home country of Australia), please notify them of my interest in digital media and photography. Ask them whether they will kindly offer wisdom and regular assistance, as I do feel I require some given the predicament I am currently in. It would mean the world to me if they accept and I would forever be grateful.

Travis "TJ" James

Unforgettable

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Travis "TJ" James

My First Experience In A Courtroom

NOTE: Under section 78 of the Juries Act 2000 (Victoria), it is strictly forbidden for me or any persons regardless of whether or not selected for the jury process to share or disclose any information regarding a specific court case. Any breach of this can result in a serious penalty which can include a fine of $15,000+ (AUD) or up to five years imprisonment. Any questions regarding the court case I was assigned to, will be immediately ignored. This piece purely focuses on my experience in the County Court of Victoria, and mine alone.

I'm sure all of us who experience this think the same way. It is the one raffle we wish we never win. I speak of course about jury duty. When we are randomly selected from the state electoral roll and forced to attend a mandatory process where the fate of any accused person potentially ends up in our hands. Something as serious as this can really pile on the pressure, leaving us wishing to never be chosen. Sadly, I wasn't so fortunate. Arriving at my house on June 28 would be the much deplored letter from Juries Victoria, stating that I was to fill out an eligibility form and prepare for any summons within a four month period. My mother like she does with most news that comes her way, overdramatised this and made it sound so terrible and life-threatening. Her words being something amongst the lines of 'you're in trouble'. Knowing my mother, I shouldn't have panicked as much as I did. But after reading further details, I was only left to accept it for what it was. I did not want to get involved with this, but I knew that I had no choice.

For many weeks following my completion of the form, it was nothing more than a waiting game. At times I was wanting to believe in the possibility that I wouldn't receive the call to enter that all-too-familiar building on William Street. But reality always stepped in to remind me that such possibilities don't exist. All I was left hoping for was some notice. I felt myself needing a lot of time to relieve my tensions and prepare for my first business trip to Melbourne City in many years. Despite the need to inform the managers of my workplace about the news during my casual position as a sales assistant and warehouse supervisor (My First Experience As A Worker), we were all somewhat hoping we wouldn't have had to deal with the situation. Thankfully, luck was on my side for once and we all dodged that bullet. However, still not knowing when I was to take the next step, had led me to being hesitant in chasing for further employment at the time. Perhaps it could've indeed a bad decision, as things would very likely not get any easier job-wise for somebody such as myself moving forward. But I still cared too much for my physical and mental health, regardless of whether or not my attention was excessive.

Eventually I received the date of my summons, which was October 2. I was given a reasonable amount of time to get everything together and put myself back into a proper routine for the day. Like most important trips I make, there was a lot of focus placed on the amount of time I would give myself to find the Court, especially since it was in a part of the CBD I never visited much during my recreational trips. More importantly, I had to ensure there was extra time available so I could locate the specific rooms within the Court where the potential Jurors were to be. And it was a bloody good thing I did. For almost a good ten minutes, I was walking up and down the first and second floors of the building not knowing where I was to go. It also took me a bit of time to find somebody and ask for directions, since I was shy and lacking the ability to speak up (even when I knew I needed to). When having found out the location, I was pretty embarrassed. The doorway to the waiting room was right next to the security screening area, which for a while was hidden from my view. If only I was more observant of my surroundings. Instead I was looking like John Travolta in that scene from Pulp Fiction.

Entering the area, I was welcomed to a long line of people waiting for their forms to be verified at the reception desk. The wait and process were surprisingly quick, though my heart did race for a bit whilst dealing with the staff. I was needing to convince them that all my details were correct at the time of filling out the form and that any new details (in particular my short-lasting job as a warehouse worker) came about later on. In the end, it was just me putting pressure on myself and overplaying the seriousness of the summons since the staff member trusted me quite comfortably. Not long after when everybody had arrived and was seated, us elected subjects were given a series of informative video clips about both Australia's standard courtrooms and the jury process. I personally found them to be very intriguing, especially one of them which helped me understand the many differences between Australia's courtroom set-up and those commonly shown by American film and television. 

For much of the day, it was all about us keeping ourselves amused until the selection process came around. With many of us not knowing each other, we were spread out across two rooms and supplied with many activities and resources such as magazines and newspapers to help pass the time away. Sitting in the opposing room to me was even a pool table, though I never really gave myself the chance to use it. I instead decided to pull out my book of word-searches, especially because I had to save the battery power on my phone after forgetting to bring the charge cable with me. Also supplied were some light snacks and other ingredients for guests to make coffee. I decided on nothing but a small hot chocolate. Despite the few delays with the selections and the staff even having to repeat one, the day went fairly quick. Before I know it, we were all given an hour's break to get lunch. In this time, I instead chose to skip food and spend time walking around the area. And a good decision it was with there not being a lot of eateries in the area. The few food spots were completely packed at the time. When it came to exploring the streets, I knew not to go too far in case I got lost. To avoid trouble, I returned to the waiting room early.

There was only one other court case needing for jurors. I wasn't the least bit surprised when my number was drawn out considering there were very few left in the waiting rooms after others had left before the lunch break. When entering the courtrooms, I was amazed at how small it was. Judging from the room temperature and the lack of external noise, one could easily tell the room was heavily insulated. Traditional styled courtroom furniture was accompanied by modern look of white plastered walls and plum red carpets. Notwithstanding the small sense of coziness I gathered from the place, the atmosphere was still that of a serious one. Us subjects who were selected were told of the formalities we had to carry out when the hearing began. We were reminded of the very strict rules and regulations which went as far as us not even being allowed water. The magistrate and other important members of the counsel all uniformly dressed in black robes and wigs, further displayed such formal approaches whilst acknowledging their allegiance to either British or historical court practices.

Following a brief overview of the case in discussion and a clinical understanding of the defendant's pleas, the judge then proceeded with the same approach of drawing names which first got me into the room. Only this time it was for the formation of the twelve-person Jury panel. Highlighted were only the assigned numbers and the occupations of the selected people. Here I was not called out, which saw my time in the courtroom quickly come to an end. I felt a small sense of relief after having learnt of how lengthy the process of reaching a verdict was. I too still felt somewhat uncomfortable in playing any role in determining a person's fate. And despite not requiring any specific knowledge or needing any understanding of legal terminology, I still felt I lacked the necessary qualities to demonstrate the right approach. But I too had to remind myself that this couldn't remain an excuse, considering there was every chance I could be recalled in the future.

I finally returned to the waiting room, only to hear the satisfying news that my day was done. That was unless of course I chose to attend again in the later weeks. It shouldn't surprise anybody that I immediately said no to this. I just didn't feel prepared for such a significant role. I got to walk away with forty dollars and two years immunity from being selected again. However, I don't think I will ever not feel unsettled about all of this. I overheard one of the people there mentioning how they were selected for the sixth time. It does indeed scare me a little. All I'm left to do is cross my fingers and hope I don't get selected anytime soon after my two-year exemption is up. My advice to people (especially my fellow Australians) is simple. If or whenever you receive your first notice for jury duty, treat it as an opportunity to explore the ways of the world. Embrace the reality of such happenings and turn it into knowledge for yourself. That is exactly what I did. I'm not saying you have to like it, because I surely don't. But a small taste of something different and new like this in your life, can in ways help you to get a further understanding of yourself and the way you see the world.

Travis "TJ" James

Beyond

It was November last year, when I published a piece titled 'Unforeseeable'. A piece which explored humankind's limits in certain knowledge surrounding existence. That certain knowledge was 'time' I discussed, in particular the future. How there was no telling the possibilities that await us. How there was no such thing as a prediction of inevitability. How good and bad happenings were equal and depended greatly on our methods in living. One thing I didn't shine much of a light on however, was the other half. The half that isn't time. I'm sure you know very well what I'm referring to. When time isn't involved, we are living in the present. The very brief moments that are now when our knowledge is at its peak, but still far from where we wish for it to be as the world and beyond still holds its mysteries. The people we are yet to know and the places we are yet to see. Even life and existence outside of Earth. Time is not the only thing that remains unclear.

Space! The dimensions that surround existence. The infinite and ever-expanding room for life to live and move. An ultimate provider of freedom and difference. A vital element of everything and there's nothing without it. Space amazes us with its vast size, but too leaves us curious. Because of how immeasurable it is, it holds countless possibilities like time. It leaves our work forever incomplete, but always brings about something new and exciting. Not one of us can answer for all of its secrets. Not even 7.7 billion of us together living on the planet. And it does not matter how intelligent we are or how intelligent we become. To this day, much space within our reach is still unknown. Some of it hasn't even been touched, leaving doors open to new discoveries. Discoveries dark, intriguing or potentially life-changing. On top of all this, there's the light years of untouched space surrounding Earth. Space for the most inquisitive of minds to learn heaps about.

The knowledge of space can go as far as being personal. Despite the numerous ways in which something is proven to exist, a few of us are not satisfied unless we view it for ourselves. It's sort of a step towards stuff not being real unless seen by nothing but the naked eye. Cut short, it's the 'seeing is believing' approach to life. When it comes to how silly it can sound, I can't disagree. But at the same time, I can't fault those who do go about this approach. How I see it, these people are merely putting existence to the test. It's the scientists coming out of them, demonstrating the tough questions and wanting to make sure everything around them makes sense. If that isn't enough, then there's supposedly the best thing to come out of this. Such an approach gives those who follow it a fantastic purpose. To travel the world and see what it has to offer. Personal exploration and discovery of space like any other interest, comes from hard work and perseverance. And it's an interest commonly considered to be very valuable for many reasons including money and distance covered during travel.

Of course, certain people can take their own lack of space knowledge to extremes. Some with little knowledge and no involvement in the events around them, may develop what will be considered by many as a sense of paranoia. It can start from as early as school, when students can feel they are coming off wrong to classmates. They might feel they've done something to discomfort a few kids. They might worry about the possibilities of being talked about negatively by others. All are notions that have crossed my mind at least once so far. It doesn't have to stop at school either. The unknowns to anybody regarding space can easily lead to the talk of conspiracies moving forward. Conspiracies as we all know, are supposed plans and other ideas utilised by small groups with the intention of causing harm for outsiders. Believers of these are often left feeling somewhat insecure. It can be as simple as one thinking they're being kept in the dark when it comes to important information. Or it can go to extreme lengths, with one fearing that something or someone is out to get them.

There are dozens of conspiracies and other talks stemming from little space knowledge that are commonly shared between everyday people. A few of them look into the possible secrets hidden within the lands us humans rarely get to visit. Many videos on the internet, share both tales and true stories of happenings inside the darkest and most isolated of places on the map. One conspiracy I'm sure we're all familiar with around the world, is the one regarding Area 51. Area 51 is the given name to a secret government-ran base hidden within the ranges of Nevada USA. It is said to be the home for testing new air force technology. In spite of what is known about the heavily fortified base, millions of people still carry suspicions about it. Given the location and intense security, it is commonly believed Area 51 is also home to huge scientific discoveries. Discoveries that could potentially change the way life is seen by most. They go as far as super advanced technology to the possible existence of extraterrestrial intelligence.

What can be seen as even scarier, is how us humans as a collective are creating a vast space of our own. One with plenty unknown areas within itself. I speak of course about computers and the internet. What is designed as a means to connect with people around the world and help gain further knowledge, is fast becoming the universe within a universe. The internet reflects our reality. It holds its populated cities (e.g. Facebook, Google, Wikipedia, Youtube, etc.) and remote locations. It shares its famous celebrities (e.g. Mark Zuckerberg, PewdiePie, etc.) and total strangers. It is both law-abiding and law-breaking. We are finding our lives more than ever influenced by the space of man-made computer networks. But while our reality is now in sync with the internet, so too are the dangers. There's the mysteries and parasites of the dark web. There's the unpredictable people and potential criminals behind false accounts. Most importantly, it has become the new life support of computer hacking and malware.

A good old friend of mine from the school days once said that nobody can be certain about anything. That perfect knowledge is impossible to reach. Having not yet opened my mind to such fascinating topics for discussion, I just took their word for it then. As of now, I couldn't agree more. Human understanding can be funny sometimes. While it seems some answers are made to appear precise by us, they never actually are. There always hides that very tiny chance of information we have long seen as being correct, containing several mistakes. There always is that tiny bit of room given to the brightest and most driven of us, for achieving greater accuracy in knowledge. We as one massive family are forever trying to compete with each other here. But little do we see how great this is. While most today will challenge understanding to make a name for themselves, any success will see humanity aided at least a small fraction. It's making sure discoveries remain both solid and as close to 100% as possible. It's a chase for greater awareness and a push for better lives.

Despite its hidden spots and unsettling shadows, space brings about the passion of exploration in plenty.  A passion that gives birth to a number of other passions. It also encourages us to increase our awareness through both protection and proper quests for the truth. The knowledge and experience gained from space travel defines character with finer detail. Although it is a frighteningly large task due to the size of space, exploration is the supplier of all things wonderful about existence. The visual beauty of space before one's eyes. The harmony man and nature has created. The many sensations within different cultures. The new and unfamiliar foods. The intriguing history behind the current structures of societies. A charming positive if you ask me. If life held no mysteries for anybody, there is every chance life would be nothing short of boring. The fact there is always something new to learn, keeps us moving everyday.

You will keep telling yourself what I'm discussing here doesn't matter. But I reckon there are many days when you demonstrate this. How so? Well ask yourself this question. Do you ever sit and briefly wonder to yourself what is taking place elsewhere? By this, I mean the whereabouts of other people as well as what they are doing while you think about them. I'm not afraid to admit that this is something I do nearly all of the time. Why is that? Excluding the fact that I like everybody else am not omnipresent, I personally have little to no experience in exploration. I know very few people and have visited very few places. Because of this, I just hunger for a greater glimpse into how other people use their gifts. I'm wanting to know how they see living. I'm profoundly interested in the diversity of existence. Right now, it feels as if the world is still a stranger to me at 23 (my age at the time of typing this). But that's just it I suppose. I still have plenty of time ahead of me at 23, which means plenty of time to seek these answers.

Space although being everything time isn't, shares some significant similarities. It's one of the two cogs of existence. An insanely large box full of never-ending conundrums. Conundrums that spark curiosity and evoke a wide range of emotions between us all. We can fear the giant it is and we can fear the enigma it is. But whether it's general or personal, knowing there is more about life to be found makes life itself all the more sweeter. The secrets of space inspire thousands of us into making history, leaving our mark and prolonging memories. Long story short, it fulfills lives. I for years, have had my moments of great uncertainty. I have not figured out what it is I should do. But the one thing that has never changed is my desire to explore different paths, take on fresh obstacles and meet new friendly faces. As a matter of fact, this is nearly everybody's desire. To look beyond, to go beyond and to know beyond!

Travis "TJ" James

That Long And Winding Road

Whenever you find a comment of mine under somebody's post on such social media platforms like Instagram, it is always going to be one oozing of politeness or praise. Why am I highlighting this you ask? Well think of my comments like make-up. Women obviously wear make-up to look prettier, but anyone could do so to hide something unpleasant such as a scar. Make-up leaves observers liking what they see, as the wearer too feels better about themselves. My comments are exactly that. They are what you like to see and what I like to give. I must also add that they are completely true and I mean every single character that is published. Whenever I share my thoughts openly, it is me in awe of either the visual wonder, the effort put into the work or both. But underneath these positive words hides the darkest of my secrets. A secret of self-reflection that leaves me to contemplate the things that haunt me day and night. It's a large part of who I am at the moment and it's something I absolutely loathe about myself.

A message of love and reverence for any person along with their business is what it is. But there's every chance those of mine you come across will carry some undertones. These undertones often refer back to me. They mostly represent my dissatisfaction. Whenever I see something I adore, I naturally consider it as something greater. Something far more advanced compared to what I do. Sort of like the next level up. As a result, I'm left unsatisfied with my efforts. I'm left believing what I do is not enough. Wanting to taste my ultimate happiness, I'm encouraged to push harder and get better out of myself. I want to upgrade and share better material. Not to mention I want to expand my brand and feel both interesting and new all the time. Perhaps that's a very small aspect I can tolerate, but the entire approach still seems very negative. It's as if one of my finest qualities is burdened by the ball and chain. The respect for others and the unwanted shame with myself go hand in hand.

You could consider it envy. The work from others that amazes me, often has me wishing I were in their position. It has me wishing I shared their abilities. Whether it be community work, cosplay, drawing, photography or simply the freedom and good times with close friends, I see it all as a mouse in a cage. The open lives many live with creative minds and endless breathing space, become my hopes and dreams. I see their joy and feel their passion. All of a sudden, jealousy strikes and I want to be them. It's not so much me wanting to copy or become exactly like them, but rather get a small taste of their world. Sort of like walking in their shoes for a day. Utilising the talents, carrying the knowledge, embracing the fortunes, experiencing the happiness, etc. Much of the stuff others do also happens be on my bucket list, and it's stuff many would see as not being that extreme or significant. But I suppose that depends on the individual, as I personally can see the joy they would bring to me. And given where I'm currently positioned, these dreams of mine are fairly high bars to reach.

Knowing I'm not in the position to live my dreams, hurts to the point where I begin to question my worth. Is what I'm doing now, good enough to receive praise? Do I have what it takes to earn the respect of people around me? Do those who currently respect me really mean it, or are they just trying to put a cheap smile on my face? All are questions that regularly cross my mind. I take one look at my social media profiles along with the work I consider my best, and I see very few people being having discovered it. I see it doing as well as the other stuff of mine I don't rate so highly. Because of this, I'm wondering whether both my vision and work are too flawed. I'm wondering whether I'm to review and reshape my perception of artistry. It is not about me being popular, but rather me being meaningful. Am I meaningful enough, or am I just another face on the net? Is another face on the net all I can ever be?

Just about everybody knows it takes hard work and persistence to achieve goals. Those who have achieved theirs will tell you the same thing. I am well aware that it is no different for me and there will come a point in time when I will be doing all that I can to make my accomplishments real. So why the hesitance? You'd be quick in jumping to the reason of me fearing failure, which I wouldn't blame you for doing so. However, it is numerous things that see me worried. There are times when I'm left not knowing where to start. There are other times when I worry the journey will take too long. And it's not just the fear of failure, but the fear of success as well. As a matter of fact, I stress the most about this. If I were to reach any intended goal, I'd hate to be questioning the quality of the reward. I'd hate to be asking myself whether my climb to the top was worth the time spent. Because of how precious I see life and existence to be, the idea of my hard work being for little or nothing in return scares me to bits. It most likely won't be the case, but it simply being a possibility is enough to hold me back a little.

There too are external factors of great concern to me. The first of them is the increasingly difficult task of trying to make a living in a country with many economical problems. Jobs are becoming scarce and the Australian dollar (especially when put up against the U.S. dollar) is losing its value. The second regards my family and their thoughts on certain things. Despite their words being in sync with mine about freedom of choice, they have now and then raised opposing views after freedom of choice has been demonstrated (e.g. me purchasing products online). Communities around my area don't feel to be quite as friendly compared to most others and the state government seem to have some absurd restrictions placed on us. Perhaps I am wrong here, but it does seem like the harmless things I desire are being taken away from me. The walls are closing in as diverse minds and personalities in my beautiful country of Australia for some unknown reason are slightly frowned upon.

Having now learnt this, you may look at me a little different. You may find me a tad unattractive. I won't blame you for going this direction. Nobody likes a misery guts and nor should they. But believe me, I do hate this part of myself. I try my best looking for ways past the jealousy and self-doubt. I try my best delivering what I can that both represents what I want to stand for and separates me enough from the crowd. I want to be associated with a friendly personality. One that you can interact with at any time. One that will not speak a word of discomfort or displeasure. One that sees your work and acknowledges it in respectable fashion. Most importantly, I want to ensure you're approaching the right man. That man being someone who will immediately welcome you with open arms and will reciprocate the love and affection you give. My work is for you to enjoy and treasure after all. I'd understand if you choose to give me the cold shoulder, but just remember I see pessimism the same way.

Then again, this dark secret of mine hides from your view and very rarely do I touch upon it. I guess it's because I do get my priorities right now and then. Something I can be proud of. I am an artist who wishes to display themselves in ways never seen before. I want to be unique through a little bit of everything. I love visual beauty. I love immense passion. I love the work of others and will go as far as twisting it to make it something brand new. I'm here to prove within my limits that imagination is limitless. When I do the things I do here, I'm always thinking of you. I'm wanting to impress and provide to you a variety of different content that supports all of mind, soul, body and spirit. And it is fair to say I have impressed a few. I have even went on to inspire one or two of them. Since that is all I'm ever wanting, I do pat myself on the back occasionally. I'm even proud with some of my efforts so far. Suppose it tells me the light forever remains at the end of the tunnel.

But as already confirmed by me here, my journey is not yet finished. I could argue that it hasn't even started. Like those I have influenced, I too have my influences. I've explored countless places throughout the internet, only to find several people who would unwittingly solidify some of my goals and leave me striving to meet them with success. Sure I have my doubts, but they don't need to know that. All that should matter to them is that I'm a great admirer of their journeys and will always throw my support towards them, regardless of its effect. If you're reading this, there is always a chance one of my influences could be you. If ever you come across a nice message from me, don't assume it isn't true. Don't assume it's me hating myself or seeking your approval. Instead, be flattered that I find you to be superior in some ways. Be flattered that you drive me to reach similar heights. You have achieved something quite powerful. Something I hope to achieve as well. It's a form of glory bound to make life so much easier for all.

Travis "TJ" James

Carlton Football Club: The 2019 Review

My thoughts on Carlton's 2019 season? After all the pain and suffering of last year. After all the predictable results and humiliating losses. After all the new and embarrassing records set by a historically successful club. It's safe to say that this year was better! Much, much better! A small improvement equates to a small tick. That however, isn't to say I'm entirely satisfied. Especially given that half of the results were dependent on some bold yet awfully familiar decisions put forward mid-season. Decisions that probably tainted the overall picture a tiny bit. And I know for a fact I'm growing tired of these decisions, having seen them enough in the past. But I guess this time they had to be made for the good of the team. Because hadn't the board stepped in and made such moves, there would have been every chance Carlton left 2019 looking eerily similar to 2018. So I'll take what was given, but there is plenty of work still needing to be done both on and off the field.

Every premiership season is exactly that; a premiership season. There's only one of these each year. And we ourselves don't live for very long. As each year passes and Carlton perform the way they do, it feels like a precious chance has been wasted. Maybe I am being the slightest bit harsh on my blues. But I was born after the club's latest taste of glory. I completed a whole thirteen years of education, with Carlton only ever managing four short-lived finals series (one by default) within that time period. Never did they reach a preliminary and never did they make it any higher than 5th. Instead of chances at success, I see my club face the harsh penalties of cheating. I see my club endlessly making bad choices and finishing rock bottom. I see my club preaching the patience they themselves refuse to accept. And everywhere I look, it's negative criticism and constant mockery of Carlton's repeated mistakes. Someone at my age and experience can only take so much.

People will come around and tell me that Carlton is going places. That the next window of opportunity is just around the corner. When this happens, I will be ready to ask the big questions. How do they know that? What makes them so sure that ultimate success is a step or two away? While I agree that better times await us all given it's a natural situation, I can't say when they will arrive. They could be next year, or perhaps not until I'm 40, 50 or even 80. Believe me, I admire anybody with an optimistic view. I could even say I believe great things will happen very shortly. It's just that I just can't say I know so. I always tell myself to maintain a sense of reality. I have to remind myself that anything could happen. But I do consider those pleasant possibilities. New Carlton glory is still a dream that I hope comes true. All I'm currently asking for is to experience flag number seventeen in my lifetime. Nothing more and nothing less. Anyway, enough about me and on with the review.

Coming off the absolute disgrace that was the 2018 season, the club and everyone within it knew the pressure was well and truly on them for 2019. The members and supporters were left nothing short of disgruntled and the media had a wonderful time making news out of the then-rumoured frictions between club officials and other personnel. Not to mention the several bold moves that were made during the off-season by Carlton themselves, as their intense belief of immediately turning a corner made the rounds. The potential sacrifice of millions of dollars in revenue, as existing members were offered a free membership upgrade. The desperate play for Dylan Shiel involving corporate businessmen and an expensive flight to Noosa on a private jet plane The history-making live trade for Liam Stocker that looked nothing more than controversial at the time. Everything pointed to Carlton becoming a much bigger headline in 2019 for reasons somewhat discomforting. The blues simply had to deliver and show significant improvements.

Things weren't looking so great to begin with, as newly-appointed co-captain Sam Docherty once again ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament after a knock during a December training session. Some fans feared it was a sign of history repeating itself, while others fought through the frustration and held onto the faith that someone such as new recruit in Nic Newman or the much talked-about Tom Williamson would fill the gap well enough throughout the year. Thankfully nothing much else left people worried leading up to the new season, other than some weight placed on a few of the new guys as well as the under-performers. Come the first few rounds, Brendan Bolton proved a little too stubborn with his plan. He refused to apply any significant changes to better recent results. Because of this, the board lost patience and sacked him at the halfway mark after only one win from eleven games. Taking over was David Teague and suddenly things were looking different. The team was inspired and the results were more often than not, ending up in Carlton's favour. There isn't much else to summarise. One could say 2019 was merely a tale of two halves.

I guess it is okay to celebrate the small achievements while we're here. The first of them being the reinvigorated women's team under new coach Daniel Harford. They may have had help from a dodgy conference system, but Carlton's ladies fought valiantly to nearly forge the unforgettable tale. Making it to the big dance a year after the depths they experienced is nothing short of impressive. The club as a whole once again broke the club membership record despite a little assistance from the free upgrade initiative, with 64,269 people signing up. A few respected stars reached AFL milestones including Marc Murphy (250 games), Ed Curnow (150 games) and Patrick Cripps (100 games). Both Madison Prespakis and Sam Walsh took out the rising star awards for their respective leagues and left thousands smiling from ear to ear. And there is no ignoring the regular wins at the back end of 2019 under David Teague. It seems I am happy about some things. Much so that I'm willing to dig deeper and review the season that was.

THE RESULTS

ROUND 1 - CARLTON (9-10-64) def by RICHMOND (14-13-97) 33 Points

ROUND 2 - PORT ADELAIDE (13-10-88) def CARLTON (11-6-72) 16 Points

ROUND 3 - CARLTON (10-14-74) def by SYDNEY SWANS (14-9-93) 19 Points

ROUND 4 - GOLD COAST SUNS (8-11-59) def CARLTON (8-9-57) 2 Points
ROUND 5 - WESTERN BULLDOGS (7-15-57) def by CARLTON (15-11-101) 44 Points
ROUND 6 - HAWTHORN (13-15-93) def CARLTON (13-10-88) 5 Points
ROUND 7 - CARLTON (8-14-62) def by NORTH MELBOURNE (18-12-120) 58 Points
ROUND 8 - CARLTON (13-9-87) def by COLLINGWOOD (16-10-106) 19 Points
ROUND 9 - GWS GIANTS (20-18-138) def CARLTON (7-3-45) 93 Points
ROUND 10 - ST. KILDA (9-14-68) def CARLTON (8-7-55) 13 Points
ROUND 11 - ESSENDON (11-8-74) def CARLTON (4-9-33) 41 Points
ROUND 12 - CARLTON (11-12-78) def BRISBANE LIONS (9-9-63) 15 Points
ROUND 13 - CARLTON (15-10-100) def by WESTERN BULLDOGS (15-13-103) 3 Points
ROUND 14 - BYE
ROUND 15 - FREMANTLE (11-9-75) def by CARLTON (11-13-79) 4 Points
ROUND 16 - CARLTON (15-10-100) def by MELBOURNE (15-15-105) 5 Points
ROUND 17 - SYDNEY SWANS (8-14-62) def by CARLTON (9-15-69) 7 Points
ROUND 18 - CARLTON (15-9-99) def GOLD COAST SUNS (11-9-75) 24 Points
ROUND 19 - CARLTON (13-9-87) def ADELAIDE CROWS (9-6-60) 27 Points
ROUND 20 - CARLTON (11-9 -75) def by WEST COAST EAGLES (15-9-99) 24 Points
ROUND 21 - RICHMOND (11-7-73) def CARLTON (6-9-45) 28 Points
ROUND 22 - CARLTON (11-12-78) def ST. KILDA (11-8-74) 4 Points
ROUND 23 - GEELONG CATS (19-15-129) def CARLTON (8-13-61) 68 Points

SEASON HIGHLIGHTS

Consider the highlights as each win and how they came about. The first win for 2019 and the last under Brendan Bolton was a convincing one against a young Bulldogs outfit, which was made all the more memorable as Sam Walsh helped break a long 59-game drought of no triple figures with the last kick of the match. The second came straight after action was taken at the coaching front, when Carlton took on the exciting Brisbane Lions. A hard tag on Lachie Neale after half time allowed skipper Patrick Cripps to run rampant and deliver what was arguably the greatest individual performance of the year. After the bye came a trip to Western Australia to face Fremantle. A rough start, an intense finish and a desirable outcome for the blues thanks to the brilliant composure of veteran Marc Murphy. Another drought was broken, with the team recording three wins in a row for the first time since 2016 against Sydney, Gold Coast and Adelaide respectively. Carlton sneaked in one more victory against the saints in round 22 after the Teague Train officially took off .

SEASON LOWLIGHTS

Just about everything within the first half of the season that wasn't the Bulldogs match. Despite some respected showings in the first three rounds, the win tally remained at zero. And it stayed that way for at least another week, with the blues blowing an opportunity against Gold Coast as Jack Bowes snatched the victory for the suns within the last 30 seconds of the game. Another chance went away down at Launceston, as Hawthorn fought back with a ten-goal second half. Carlton went on to dish up another embarrassing performance against North Melbourne and copped an absolute hiding from GWS only a fortnight later. St. Kilda too benefited from the troubles taking place down at Ikon Park in the first encounter. But it was longtime rivals Essendon who would deliver the final straw. The club took action, telling Brendan Bolton to pack his bags and look for a role in footy elsewhere. From then onward, everything looked alright. That was until round 23 arrived (the bogey round for Carlton), with the cats this time enjoying the moment.

2019 SEASON TRACKER

2019 PLAYER RESULTS

This scoring system is heavily based on stats and influence around the field, so it may see some players such as Liam Jones look worse than normal. It is not a perfect system and it doesn't exactly reflect on who will poll well for the best and fairest either, since Michael Gibbons, Harry McKay and Jack Silvagni have more often than not met their expectations. However these results do tell me that Patrick Cripps is certainly the clear winner and that he, Ed Curnow and Nic Newman are likely to round up the top three. There are a few things I picked up from these results:

1. Despite earning more accolades and recognition this season, Patrick Cripps did take a small step backwards here. He achieved maximum points only 7 times unlike last year when he did so 10 times.
2. Every blue to play at AFL level in 2019 has had at least one point taken off them. Sam Walsh had the fewest points taken off with just the 1. Tells us how consistently good he was this year.
3. Longest streak of points gained was Sam Walsh (20 matches). Longest streak without any points gained was Zac Fisher (12 matches). Longest streak of points lost was Matthew Kennedy (9 matches).
4. Nine blues did not gain points for any match played (Alex Fasolo, Jarrod Garlett, Hugh Goddard, Darcy Lang, Harrison Macreadie, Cameron Polson, Angus Schumacher, Liam Stocker and Tom Williamson). Only Lang and Stocker have managed to avoid losing points for a game, with each scoring 0 once.
5. Marc Murphy received the most tens (4 times), Ed Curnow received the most nines (4 times), Sam Walsh received the most eights (4 times), Levi Casboult received the most sevens and Sam Petrevski-Seton received the most sixes (4 times).

THOSE WHO IMPRESSED ME IN 2019

Levi Casboult
With Charlie Curnow, Mitch McGovern and Harry McKay being the faces of Carlton's exciting forward line of the future, the sun was looking to set on Levi Casboult's time at the blues. Nothing changed during the remaining weeks with Bolton. But once David Teague came around and the chances to prove himself increased, Levi took them all and earned a new wave of respect. Casboult played just about everywhere this year, which saw him as the most versatile performer of 2019. There was his usual duty in the ruck when Matthew Kreuzer was rested. His improved kicking saw many goals up forward. And when Liam Jones missed six matches with concussion symptoms, Levi covered for him down back. One would think he'd end up confused with all the roles and responsibilities, but he instead stepped up to the plate when he was needed and he reaped the benefits. If there's any time for us to take back the criticisms we shared about Casboult, it is now. He was superb this year.

Patrick Cripps

What's there to be said that hasn't been said before about this guy? He's an absolute superstar who is already etching his name in history books at the ripe age of 24. The inspirational leader and face of Carlton's new plans for glory, was no different in 2019 compared to what we've seen of him in previous seasons. In spite of the one or two games this year when he proved to be human like the rest of us, Cripps most other times had shown everybody why he's rated so highly. His work in and around the middle of the ground never gets tiresome. His pressure on the opposition puts smiles on faces. The growing ability to push up the ground and impact the scoreboard more often leaves excitement levels hitting the roof. Everything about Patrick's footy right now is too good to resist. He has recently been awarded the Leigh Matthews Trophy, a second All-Australian selection and is expected to comfortably take home his third best and fairest award at the end of this week. Running out of words to describe him, so let's just leave it at that.

Harry McKay

Far from a perfect season, but it's one still deserving of praise. Harry McKay in ways showed why he was worth pick 10 all those years ago. Although not killing it on the scoreboard, he still managed to walk into 2019 with style. His phenomenal skill of contested marking became a talking point, as he lead the stat for much of the season's front end while also breaking a 21st century record after round three. This along with the unbelievable ability to sometimes play like a small crumbing forward at 204cm, saw McKay's value to the team skyrocket. As the year went on however, his form did drop off and such areas like his set-shot kicking did take a hit whilst he battled groin issues. Nevertheless, he hung around and continued to occasionally surprise fans like he did with that phenomenal match-sealing snap in round 22. A few fans and observers have gone far as to suggest McKay would be a greater threat than Charlie Curnow to opposing teams. Couldn't blame them for thinking that way, because we blues fans are just wild about Harry.

Nic Newman

Probably not THE recruit of the year, but most certainly one of them. And it only costed the blues a future fourth round pick. After a couple of failed attempts at filling the absence of Sam Docherty, Nic Newman turned out to be the most effective solution. He made a regular presence down back throughout the season, knowing where the ball would end up and rebounding with his quick pace. Every now and then, the ex-swan was also able to push up the ground and attack the goals with his dangerous left-foot kicking. This was made evident in the match against the then-reigning premiers West Coast, where he went on to record a career-high four goals (kicking two of them from just outside fifty). While composure with the ball isn't his forte, everything else Newman is capable of takes the weight off this. His contribution to the team is above average and he finds ways almost every time to create some damage. Winning his services was one of a few clever decisions from list manager Stephen Silvagni.

Sam Walsh
Nobody was surprised, nor should they have been. Judging from what was seen of him in the under 18's competition, Sam Walsh was almost certain to have an immediate impact at AFL level. The number one draft pick of 2018 stepped foot into the doors of the Carlton Football Club, oozing enough talent and leadership qualities to amaze everybody around him. Despite the scrutiny and unnecessary comparisons to other players of similar age during the season, the story took no wrong turns. Walsh played all 22 games for the blues and showcased an extraordinary level of consistency. It led to him snapping up awards and furthering his chances at becoming a future captain. The 2019 AFL Rising Star and AFLPA Best First Year even broke records including the most disposals in a debut season. To think many have tried talking him down, says a lot about his hard work and achievements so far. The kid is a marvel and has an incredibly bright career ahead of him.

THOSE WHO DISAPPOINTED ME IN 2019

Charlie Curnow
Walking into the new AFL premiership season, much of the talk was about Charlie's improvement. It was how much excitement he would bring to both the game and fans. How many goals he was kicking. Where his best position will be. All the hype didn't take long to be extinguished, as C.Curnow kicked off his year in ordinary fashion and experienced a few knee troubles. Shortly afterward came some unpleasant talk about him, though the potential superstar forward proved he could quieten the critics with some blistering form. Fourteen goals within four games including a bag of seven in round 13 against the Western Bulldogs. Returning from the bye, the words again were about Charlie and what comes next for him. But perhaps any hype surrounding the man was just a curse of some sort, as it only took a minute or so for him to once again go down with a knee injury. This time it was goodbye to 2019. Overall another wasted season for Charlie Curnow, though it was for reasons out of his control.

Paddy Dow
It will continue to be said. The kid has exceptional skills and they have most certainly been shown now and again. The explosiveness along with the ability to slip through traffic with ball in hand are things that would just about excite every supporter out there. But if the second year blues are real, then Paddy Dow is living proof. In season number two, Dow was known for an ongoing problem that plenty of people happened to pick up on. His run and carry was overshadowed by troubles in controlling the ball. The efficiency by foot took a huge hit almost every single forward 50 entry he delivered. As weeks went by, fans found it harder leaping to Paddy's defence as Paddy himself continued his kicking woes without any solution in sight. It got to a point where Teague would send him to the VFL for a couple of weeks. Dow played a total of nineteen games in 2019 and arguably none of them saw him stick out. Not to mention a move away from the midfield after the bye had further hurt his impact in the team. His future at Carlton is far from bleak but there is plenty of work to be done on his game.

Alex Fasolo
We most likely saw this coming. Prior to bringing him in, several blues fans asked why Alex Fasolo. Why were Carlton so interested in the the guy who was falling out of favour as the pies improved? Suppose it was the continuation of the blues trying to build a forward line. But at the time, no other club appeared to come knocking with interest. Perhaps Fasolo wasn't at all what the blues expected him to be. Collingwood supporters regularly poked their heads in and informed the arch-rivals about his lack of drive. They said he was an alright kick, but he wasn't applying enough forward pressure to show he was an alright kick. The Carlton faithful did not expect much from him heading into the new season, so it was no surprise to see Fasolo failing to keep his spot. Only three games for two goals and the majority of his year spent struggling in the seconds. If it was a fresh start he was after, it didn't work out. To save everyone including himself the trouble, he retired early from AFL footy to pursue other avenues. We wish him the very best for whatever he plans on doing next.

Zac Fisher
From the most improved Carlton player and one of the only positives in 2018 to arguably one of the most underwhelming performers the following year. Zac Fisher started the season strong under Bolton, embracing a midfield role and regular time around the ball. But it would all change sometime around the bye. Like Paddy Dow, Fisher was another victim of Carlton's mid-season alterations. He went from averaging 22 disposals and 3 tackles in his first 11 games to 15 disposals and 2 tackles in his last 10. Some started noticing Zac's lack of show around the ground as his numbers dropped. A few suspected it was a fitness issue related to him missing one game as a late out. But maybe it could have been him failing to take on a new role. The coaches might not have known where to place him. Whatever it was, the little Fish was not himself. Consider this just one of a few bumps in the road he will experience. No love for this guy is lost.

Matthew Kennedy

It ain't over till it's over. But when things lean towards failure, it still isn't good. Especially when it involves somebody the club have invested a fair bit of time and money into. Matthew Kennedy was Carlton's biggest recruit of the 2017 off-season. They went through the effort of trading him in, believing he would answer for the team's midfield deficiencies. They thought at the time he would be the ideal solution to take some of the weight off Cripps' shoulders at the centre of the ground. Two seasons into his navy blue career and suddenly people have doubts about him. Kennedy started week one of the season on the injury list before struggling to push into the line-up. After five weekends of being an emergency and three of them resulting in no footy at either level, he finally got his turn in rounds 10 and 11. Unfortunately his impact was minimal. Later in the season, Teague decided on a move up forward. Matt found a little more comfort there, having shined in a couple of games including a four-goal display against the suns. But his poor performances continued to outweigh his good ones. Both his consistency and willingness to attack remain a problem.

MY PREDICTION RESULTS

PREDICTED: 17th (5 wins and around 67%)

ACTUAL: 16th (7 wins and around 85%)

1. Carlton will score 100+ points only once this year. I have a feeling it will be against the round eighteen match against the Suns (102 - 67).

The blues had exceeded my expectations in this area. They cracked the ton three times, scoring 101 against the Western Bulldogs in and 100 twice (round 13 and round 16). No triple figure scores against the suns, though they almost did in the second encounter, having finished on 99.

2. Mitch McGovern, Nic Newman and Sam Walsh to be only Carlton debutants for season opener.

I considered Will Setterfield a 50/50 chance at the time, given the he was being conditioned after coming off an ACL injury. Didn't think Alex Fasolo had done enough to be named and I questioned the decision. Michael Gibbons came in after my prediction and surprised with some good preseason form. Got at least half of the prediction right. That's good enough for me.

3. I'm predicting two rising star nominations: Sam Walsh will be nominated within the first seven rounds and Will Setterfield much later in the season.

No surprises with Sam Walsh, rewarded with a nomination in the fourth round for his consistency. Even went on to win the award after being a clear favourite for most of the season. As for Setterfield, it wasn't to be. Had a couple of great games late in the year, but was pipped once or twice by other young guns with more damaging performances.

4. Charlie Curnow will once again kick our most goals and I believe he will reach just over 40.

As mentioned earlier, Charlie had a year to forget. Outside of a seven-goal show against the dogs, he struggled to impress. When the light was on him, a knee injury brought him down and kept him out for the rest of 2019. 

5. Liam Stocker to debut round eight against Collingwood at the MCG.

Missed this one by a week. Liam Stocker faced North Melbourne for his AFL debut and played five consecutive games (including the Collingwood match) before succumbing to a lengthy injury. Despite recovering, he did not manage to find a way back into the Carlton line-up.

6. Matthew Kennedy to kick the match winner against St. Kilda in round twenty-two.

While Kennedy did kick a major, it wasn't a match-winner. That instead fell into the hands of big Harry McKay with a miraculous curler from the 50-metre line to help seal the victory for the navy blues.

7. Lowest score kicked is 32 against Fremantle straight after the bye.

Lowest score was 33. Just missed out by one point. It was not the dockers match however. Miserable day at the MCG facing the unpredictable bombers. A 41-point defeat that pushed club officials to the edge. Bolton was out of there. 

8. Patrick Cripps to poll three Brownlow votes in seven matches.

Only managed to do such a thing five times, with three of them in the first five rounds. Since then, he had his off games and missed chances after spending a couple of weeks on the sidelines.

9. Hugh Goddard to play a total of five matches for Carlton.

Just the two for Hugh. But it probably would have been more had he not cop rotten luck in his first opportunity with a fractured cheekbone.

10. This one is a bit of a stretch, but I reckon brothers Ben and Jack Silvagni will play in the same Carlton side at least once in the back end of the season.

A stretch it was indeed. Ben Silvagni did not get a call up to play his first game at any stage. Older brother Jack too struggled to force his way into the side in the early weeks.

WHAT MUST CARLTON DO TO IMPROVE?

Rotate Small Forward Stock
Chase for Tom Papley. Chase for Jack Martin. Chase for Dan Butler. Chase for Sam Gray. We all know they won't get all of them, but it is better not to be too picky and choosy. Carlton's current list of small forwards just isn't good enough. Either players don't naturally fill the position or they do but can't seem to keep on the park. Jarrod Pickett was luckless. Alex Fasolo and Jarrod Garlett both failed. Cameron Polson's work rate is below average. Michael Gibbons works best around the centre of the ground. Josh Deluca is merely a fill-in. The only player that has looked somewhat promising in attacking fifty now and then is David Cuningham, who is in fact another midfielder. He possesses a decent crumbing ability, but he is continuously getting hurt and can't get a good run at AFL footy. The blues need natural small forwards. They need ones willing to put their body on the line and attack the ball. Consider this priority number one during the trade period.

Find Another Star/Big-Bodied Midfielder
We admire Carlton's belief in such players as Will Setterfield and Liam Stocker. But the problem is they are still fairly raw and are another year or two away from potentially assisting Patrick Cripps in the engine room. Although the chase for Stephen Coniglio didn't work out, there are still strategies that can be used to attract another A-grade or B-grade midfielder to Ikon Park. Find these strategies and use them, because Marc Murphy and Ed Curnow are not going to be around forever. Matthew Kennedy so far hasn't been solving the problem the way we expected him to. And talks now are all about moving other players like Charlie Curnow from their best positions to take on other superstars in the centre circle. This only proves that midfield depth remains a serious issue at the blues. Plus, the few attempts at answering for this have not worked out. Better think of something quick Carlton because the last thing we need is Cripps down or Cripps out.

Find Another Young Ruckman
Matthew Kreuzer is a much-loved person involved with the footy club. But the truth his he is injury prone and now in his thirties. His regular ruck partner in Levi Casboult is also approaching 30 and his future at Carlton remains an unsettling mystery each year. Andrew Phillips can't seem to break in and take the reigns, which is now leaving him to consider other opportunities elsewhere as rumoured. And the recently delisted Matthew Lobbe was yet another back-up ruckman at 30 years of age. There's one player on the list looking to hang around for a while tapping the ball down, and that player is Tom De Koning. There is nobody of similar age to compete with him long term. There is nobody of similar age to support him long term. Carlton has another another job during the off-season and that is to find that competition and support. Look for someone at another club who isn't having any luck getting the call up. If not, search for any possible solutions during the draft. The current stock of ruckmen is unstable.

Play To Their Strengths
It's one thing to train versatility, but it is another thing to force or rush it upon certain players. One of the major problems with the blues this year was overexposure. Under Bolton, underdeveloped kids were getting thrown to the wolves and left to fight without much help. As that took place, experienced heads such as Ed Curnow and Marc Murphy were locked up forward with the key thrown away. As important as it is to ensure progress is made in the regeneration of the centre squad, proper handling of the task is too a serious matter. Having small guys take on big seasoned bodies in the midfield at every minute is likely to cause harm. Once Teague stepped in and fixed this issue, the results had almost made a complete 180. We started to realised how much Ed and Murph were sorely missed around the bounce. Sure they are veterans now with a few years left in them. But the transition to the younger guys will take a little more time. There's no need to push this too quickly. Keep players with their strengths and don't try teaching old dogs new tricks.

Take Very Good Care Of Sam Docherty
When it comes to football, two years is indeed a very long time. And in this case, we don't wish for it to be three. Especially since it is Sam Docherty we are talking about. Co-Captain, All-Australian and John Nicholls medalist. Carlton could really do with him back on the field running. So far they have approached this well by considering his mental health, keeping patient and avoiding the risks of a relapse. But they are also to consider other avenues. For instance, search for some professional doctors and trainers both here or overseas. Allow Doc to learn new information and adopt new strategies in the rehabilitation process. Make sure that the main aim is putting strength back in that troublesome knee. Get him to feel both confident in his body and eager to play footy again. He might not ever perform as well as he did prior to his two ACL ruptures, but that isn't to say he won't make the blues a better side. Why do we continue to believe in him and his role? It's because he is still an elite talent and an incredible leader with a heart that bleeds blue.

WHERE WILL CARLTON FINISH IN 2020?

There is no telling how the blues will fare in 2020 and beyond. But if we were discussing expectations, they are to certainly finish higher than 16th. All associated with the club, well and truly know Carlton are overdue to impress and push towards flag number seventeen. There are simply no excuses for a step backwards, especially now it has been made clear through the outstanding performances in the second half of this year. Carlton has both the energy and talent to compete and Teague appears to know his plans very well. Most of the list will return fit, fresh and ready for the preseason. Some of the younger crop will have matured a little. Sam Docherty is every chance to come back a play a significant role in the team's fortunes. And with list deficiencies hopefully answered for during the trade period of drafts, things surely have to improve from here. The blues faithful are not going to handle another disappointing season, since there has been enough of them already. It's time to do some proper damage.

ROUND REVIEW LINKS

Carlton Football Club: The Round One Review
Carlton Football Club: The Round Two Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Three Review
Carlton Football Club: The Round Four Review
Carlton Football Club: The Round Five Review
Carlton Football Club: The Round Six Review
Carlton Football Club: The Round Seven Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Eight Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Nine Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Ten Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Eleven Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Twelve Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Thirteen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Fifteen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Sixteen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Seventeen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Eighteen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Nineteen Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Twenty Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Twenty-One Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Twenty-Two Review

Carlton Football Club: The Round Twenty-Three Review

OTHER LINKS

Carlton Football Club: The 2019 Preview
Carlton Football Club: The Round One Preview
Carlton Football Club: A Fairy Tale Nonetheless
Carlton Football Club: Rising Doubts
Carlton Football Club: The Never-Ending Story

Travis "TJ" James