Carlton Football Club: Of Two Minds

We all know what is to be expected from a true footy supporter. Those whose club is in the midst of a golden period or on the verge of culmination, get told to live the dream. Others like me whose club has long been struggling to keep in touch with the competition's standards, are encouraged to chase it. What does this tell us? We as fans see 'solidity' as one of the very few principles when we look to the footy field. We're given the choices, we choose one for ourselves and we stick hard with it unless worse comes to show. Whether the ship sails every sea or is sinking and in need of serious repairs, the supporters are expected to be there to do what's required of them. It's nothing that can be objected, nor is there any need for one to do so. I myself, see good in the principle.

I made a choice, I stuck with it and I never looked back. This happened when I was around the age of five years, and it would go against my father's wish. The wish that was to see every boy of his donning the black and white. The wish that my only sibling chose to follow. It's still uncertain as to what exactly had me preferring the navy blue. But I like to think it was many small things rolled up into a ball. The one colour. The iconic monogram. The fact that my mother supported them. As strange as it may seem, one thing was for sure. It wasn't the club's position in the league at the time. As a kid, I knew of Carlton's disappointing situation from the TV and papers. However, footy was never my interest. I didn't care for watching any game, not even the Grand Finals. That would change once I hit adolescence in 2008-09. The blues were fighting their way up the ranks for few years. Ever since, I've looked to support Carlton in all the ways I could. My team playing a somewhat good brand of footy may have been a factor of pulling me in. But to anyone that thinks I'm a fair-weather fan, think again. The proof isn't hard to find. All one needs to do is answer these two questions. Why did I take time to publish this piece, and where is my team currently at?

But enough about my childhood. This piece is about my beloved Carlton Blues and where they now sit. Well obviously everybody knows where that is. They are rock bottom and yet to register a win. As an avid fan, it most certainly hurts me. It's hard to argue any point when the proof is on the sheet. It's hard to display my team in public when there is a greater chance fingers will be directed at me with laughter. It's hard having to block out the noise when the pressure finds its way to destroy the clubs new legs they try standing on. My team's last premiership came just before I was born, and I along with the rest of the new generation of blues supporters have been left to witness the once-proud club with the richest of histories get caught in all of the wrong places. The salary cap scandal. The suspected tanking. The old, habitual arrogance and building impatience. Elders have the success to look back on while we're to sit and watch the dust and cobwebs shroud Ikon Park.

Where Did It Go Wrong?

Carlton have constantly found itself drawing the shortest straw in the modern era, with the cause often swinging both ways. A club so tied up in their past achievements stepped into the new millennium believing their outdated strategies were maintainable, as they refused to acknowledge the natural evolution of the game. So much so, that it wouldn't take long for the AFL to come around and knock some sense into the twisted joint, penalizing them for what was at the time, the biggest violation committed by any team in the sport. The blues were pushed to ground level and below, forced to build a new staircase with limited supplies. It would become a six-year struggle in the cellar that had countless fans reasonably disenchanted, unable to detect any source of light. Finally, the board and administration came to terms with the indispensable makeover and thought enough was enough. It was time to put heads down and become familiar with some new terminology. 

But even when the words sunk in, the lesson wouldn't. Carlton continued their role as the AFL's spotted leopard. For the next few years, the stubbornness remained on display for all to see. A "Rebuild" was moulded to meet with an expired blueprint that included gathering talented individuals and further enticing them with big pay-packets and sponsorship deals. The desire to look pretty on the surface saw team morality having to occupy the back seat. Player welfare was shunned with insipid retribution, as the boundaries were placed beyond reach. And as for the many drafts that awaited them. 'What draft?', they'd say. Carlton was quick to throw away the periscope after two or three years and treat most of what talent they carried like mad dogs off the leash. The 2007 - 2012 period may have looked promising, but deep down it was an unsustainable system within a sullied culture. Oh how we all got fooled by the false dawn.

The shame being how it all came crashing down in the most unpleasant of ways. 2012 be the season when an inflated board so devoid of certainty, were fast in throwing the blame on everything but themselves as the gods inflicted misfortune over the entire navy blue land. Just when one thinks the Carlton cake was sweet to bite into, the bitterness crept in and the sour aftertaste would be detected before the end arrived. Blues supporters were as elated as they could be after the arch-enemy was put in their box on the 'haunted' Friday night of round three. The label of 'premiership favourites' had many rightly licking their lips with excitement, thinking they have taken the next step. But all it took was eight days for the tables to turn. Inconsistency kicked in and big names found themselves as victims of the worst injury list in decades. As expected, the rocky road to south had media monsters calling for the coach's head and the board wasn't at all reluctant to bend over. In the end, a club great with his bags packed for him, was pushed to the sword. Could things get any worse than this? The answer... Carlton.

In steps Michael Malthouse. A highly accomplished and knowledgeable veteran, who would be purely appointed on reputation alone. Along with him comes a team of new staff in coaching and management, very experienced yet detached from the required process. The Malthouse era is arguably considered as the darkest period of the Carlton Football Club. It was an era that sucked spirit out of fans and members everywhere, all from watching their team get crumbled into dust both inside and out. Free agency would come to twist the knife in, as big-name players walked out for nothing in return. Drafts were once again scorned by the smallest of eyes, as the preference to repair damages leant towards handing lucrative deals to unproven and underwhelming list-cloggers. It all led to 2015, the ultimate nightmare. A year of absolute humiliation. With what was deemed as the 'worst list ever put together' accompanied by a horrid run of injuries, the blues were spanked week by week on prime-time television. Malthouse was quick to embarrass the Carlton faithful, spit on the administrators and run away with a big cheque. Left for the club was a gaping hole, another wooden spoon and almost nothing to look forward to.

Despite the atrocity of 2013-15, one thing the club got right was its analysis of the problems in play. Carlton had finally hinted a sense of sanity, as it looked in the mirror. The faulty make-over, did go on to bring about proper discipline and a change in culture. The good were rewarded and the bad were punished. The club was starting to take things seriously and the people in charge saw things the way they should have. Unfortunately, they could never approach the matters correctly. They were unable to reduce the impact of every consequence. It was the right eyes accompanied by the wrong hands. 2013-15 wasn't in a 'rebuild', but instead the poorest attempt at a 'quick-fix'. One applied to the least-fitting team in the competition. Malthouse is undoubtedly a legend of the game. He was a premiership player and three-time premiership coach. But he would only prove to all he was never meant for the navy blue.

Where are they now?

Come 2016, the club became completely understanding of its condition. It new what it needed to do and tried best to inform members and supporters of its brand new perspective. To help spread the message was newly appointed coach Brendan Bolton, an ex-footballer, teacher and former assistant under the tutelage of the greatly admired Alastair Clarkson. With him was a fresh team of personnel with an eye to build something not only great, but cohesive and sustainable over a long period of time. Former club legend, Stephen Silvagni took over the role of list manager and with help from Bolton and others, placed focus onto drafting the best young talent possible and teaching them the importance of morale and teamwork. Attention also shifted to fill the list void caused by numerous failed draft picks over a 7-year period, as Carlton took advantage of the mandatory GWS list cull to temporarily patch up the holes. The 2015 off-season turned out as a promising and beautiful-looking impetus of what was going to be an actual rebuild.

Bolton spoke of the 'journey'. A roller-coaster to be solidly constructed with many ups and downs. The honesty resonated throughout the entirety of Carlton's headquarters, and it made contact with the supporter base. To not expect miracles overnight. To admire the green shoots. To know that pain won't be easy to evade. Wins and losses meant little to the club. It was all about building something formidable from the ground up. Packaged with the change of attitude, was the meeting of the middle. The blues began to manage fulfilling the desires of its people, while also working out where most of the advantages for themselves lied. It would be as if Carlton had undergone a complete transformation. Bolton and his team wrote up a healthy plan and stuck with it from the very first day. There is no asking for anything better than that.

2016 was a strong start. It saw the team avoid all sorts of mortification and prove to the seventeen others that they were no longer easy-beats. A few weeks in, supporters grew accustomed to the potential of the Carlton backline as the defensive strategies brought out the best in them. Kade Simpson and Sam Docherty made a formidable rebound duo while Lachie Plowman and Jacob Weitering were labelled as future key pillars. Patrick Cripps went on to prove that his 2015 season wasn't a fluke, replicating the stats and then some. 2017 saw the same path being followed, but with the kids getting more time to shine. It resulted in five young blue boys recognised with rising star nominations (Caleb Marchbank, Sam Petrevski-Seton, David Cuningham, Jack Silvagni and Charlie Curnow). Fans were getting a taste of something they've rarely had before.

Today, Carlton are doing it tough. After a promising pre-season, the dominoes were quick to fall as players started dropping like flies. Docherty who became the first All-Australian for the blues in six years, ruptured his ACL a couple of weeks into his preseason. Promising small forward Jarrod Pickett would miss half the season, fracturing his scaphoid during training for the opening match. Highly-rated young defender Tom Williamson continued his battle with an ongoing back issue. Ciaran Byrne's luck with fitness remained faint. And to top it off, many experienced heads made themselves unavailable six rounds into the year (Marc Murphy, Matthew Kreuzer, Jacob Weitering, Alex Silvagni, Caleb Marchbank, Matthew Kennedy, etc.). The club also walked into the season without one of their star players in Bryce Gibbs after heeding his request to return home and trading him to Adelaide for draft picks. A lot of pain has so far been endured, but it was to be expected.

How Does All Of This Sit With Me?

Like most passionate Carlton supporters, I've been left extremely frustrated with the club's pathetic attempts in chasing flag seventeen. It obviously hurts to discover that eleven years were wasted in recovering a method that destroyed the place to begin with. I won't deny that I was caught in the moment. I won't pretend a year like 2011 didn't excite me. But now looking back on it, I learnt that the strong performances were never going to last. The people then were reckless with their decisions. They never thought things through. It was always the 'present' and never the 'future'. Their impatience crept in way before ours. 22 years of my life have passed since the most recent premiership and my blues are still as far as any team can be from winning another, and 15 of those years was how long it took for the truth to settle in. I believe the right for any Carlton fan to be annoyed is there. And it seems to me the old 'way of thinking' that ruined the club, has recently raised its ugly head for the women's team. No? Then how does one explain the wooden spoon after almost tasting the inaugural Grand Final?

Again like most around me, I've always saw the state of my club in two different ways. And it often depended on the performances both on and off the field. When things appeared to go well, I caught a glimpse of the potential. I would see the small flickering light in the distance. A sign of good things to come. The individual elements that brought about the satisfying conditions, looked as if they were in the right place. Everything going according to plan. Evidently, the opposite thoughts and emotions would rise when nothing went right. Choices are questioned and fingers are pointed. The torture becomes harder to bear. And there comes that occasional moment when I've asked myself 'Will I ever see my team play well and If so, when?'. Supporters of other clubs say they know how we feel, believing they have shared the same experiences. But I don't think they have. Carlton for many years have failed to even compete with the next best team, and have more often than not been ruled out of contention before they could begin.

I've never seen a naturally good Carlton side, but somehow I still have faith that I eventually will see one in the coming years. Thanks to logic. From glory to agony, there is a start and end to everything. There will come a time when my blues will shine bright and defy the odds. But again, it's a matter of patience. The club are now seeing things the way they should have long ago. They are assessing each and every deficiency and are searching far and wide for answers. My team now has a genuine excuse for their shortcomings, and still correctly go above and beyond in search of better. Most of the current playing group wear their hearts on their sleeve and try to impress in every way they can. I couldn't ask for anything more than this right now. The hope for greatness remains intact.

Can I handle losing? Absolutely, so long as doesn't come from capitulation. When my team can't win, I want them to fight like they can. I want them walking into every match full of confidence and determination. I then want them walking out of every match undeterred by results. Failure looks its best when it follows good effort. As I always like to say, 22 hearts over 22 minds. One can be the most talented and most skillful player on the field but if they don't ever bother to give it their all, it is clear they don't deserve to be running out. Effort and hard work will at most times prevent embarrassment. I rather have the 2018 Carlton side lose the way they do compared to the side of three years ago. Of course winning games is the priority and I want to see wins as badly as everybody else does. But many more losses will come, and the best I can do is hope they remain 'honourable'.

Losing is one thing, but what stings the most is having my team break all the wrong records. Whether it's losing margins, losing streaks or even comparing stats to other clubs, it all leaves my favourite team as the butt of all jokes. Want some of the records I find hard to stomach? I'd be happy to share them:

1. Excluding the two new franchises, Carlton are one of two clubs to have not made a Grand Final from 2000 onward (The other being North Melbourne, which won the flag in 1999 against them).

2. Brendon Bolton so far sits on 13 wins and 37 losses after 50 games. That is a winning percentage of 26%. Excluding the two Queensland teams (both having fairly new coaches), that is the worst percentage of any coach.

3. Since June 4, 2016, Carlton have not scored 100+ in any of their matches. 39 and counting. Of the 50 matches under Bolton they have only managed to do so twice in consecutive weeks (Geelong and Brisbane).

4. Carlton's last victory on a Friday night was on July 18, 2014 against North Melbourne. The margin was 23 points. Since then, blues have gone to lose 11 consecutive Friday night matches by an average of 63 points. Seven of those losses saw the margin 60+.

5. One of those Friday night losses would be etched as Carlton's worst defeat in its history. 138 points against Hawthorn on July 24, 2015. Hawthorn would go on to win third-consecutive premiership that year while Carlton won its fourth wooden spoon in 14 years.

6. The 86-point loss against North Melbourne at Blundstone Arena on April 4, 2018, is the worst seen at the stadium. Their final score of 4-6-30 was the lowest against North Melbourne and the lowest score for the club since May 27, 1995.

Think that's bad? Here are a few more undesirable records the club is not far off from achieving:

1. Carlton is looking to be the first club to have its AFLW, AFL and VFL teams all win wooden spoons in the same year.

2. The blues are likely to finish with less than five wins in 2018, which will see them finish with less wins than a season's worth of matches (less than one quarter) when looking over the past four seasons.

3. Carlton is every chance to be the first club in AFL history to finish a season without a win (0 - 22).

The last one wouldn't surprise me one bit. I have walked into every year, always believing that each team will see at least one win and one loss during the season. If any club was to prove me wrong, it will be Carlton. Always and forever Carlton.

Now, About The Rebuild...
Beware. Here, I become very emotional.

I can't see how anybody can make assertions now. What's important to understand is that this was the only route the club could take to climb back up and regain respect. Carlton dug their own hole and were left to dig themselves out of it. It's the price to pay for their disgraceful actions. Besides, one could say it's a bloody good thing they copped the bad results. The blues would learn from themselves. Times have changed since the last flag. They're now to do what every other team does. The self-inflicted punishment saw the birth of a new Carlton Football Club. I mean how often has anyone walked out of the front doors of Ikon Park and said 'let's go to the draft'? Don't think I have ever recalled such a thing happen? This club have already proven to me that they have evolved and are seeing everything clearly.

So what is to blame for the poor start? I like to think everything but the blues themselves, especially the media. I watched the media whinge time and time again for some attacking layers. I watched the media talk up the importance of trading Gibbs. I watched the media throw Jacob Weitering around and call for the inexperienced Harry McKay. Now having got it all, what do I then hear. Whinging! 'Go back to being defensive!' they say. 'Keep Weitering down back!' they say. 'Shouldn't have traded Gibbs!' they say. On top of all this, they look to Bolton and mention the word 'sack'. Talk about making something out of nothing. These desperate attention-seeking morons have become more known for doing one's head in than providing useful information. The club had told people from the get-go, not to expect a smooth incline. That there will be heaps of pain along the way. Seems like journalists are nothing but a brick wall.

The one thing that sucks about sucking, is that the wrong people get blamed. Carlton can only play the cards they are dealt with. Players get injured. The coaches try hard to replace them. Things can naturally go wrong. But according to the media, that's not true. Bolton is surely to blame. Let's put pressure on the board and hope they succumb to the ridiculous idea. After all, it's not like Clarkson or Damien Hardwick have achieved anything. Pfft! Bolton would be the last person to blame for the trouble now. I wouldn't even blame SOS. He has gotten the best out of every tough situation. He was smart enough to take the stab at raiding the most talented list in the competition. He took a stand and fought for the best trade deals possible. Thanks to him, Carlton were 'pushovers' no more. None of our drafting has yet proven to be a mistake. As a matter of fact, it's the best I've seen in years. Almost every other club would have gone for Weitering with the first pick. And we snared a couple of gold nuggets in Curnow and Zac Fisher. Brilliant work!

Want to know what else I'm now hearing? The blues are likely to take the first pick of the 'strongest draft in decades'. It becomes the best chance for a classy midfielder or a monster tall. Suddenly, the word 'trade' is tossed around by so-called list experts. Why not throw away the chance of taking one of the most exciting prospects for short-term patchwork? It's pure genius. Risk it all for uninterested stars of other teams. Don't bother trying to make better out of what's already there. Don't keep eyes on the draft and don't attempt throwing money towards free agency. This will certainly guarantee future success. NOT! If something like the 2018 draft is as good as people say it is, there is no passing the opportunity of getting first dibs. No way would I trade pick one and there is nobody I could think of trading it for. I'm willing to take the hard road.

The smartest of blues fans know the truth. It's more the case of everybody else needing to figure it out. Carlton are 'rebuilding'. It's a challenge. There will be pleasure. There will be pain. Expectations from outsiders can't be too high. The players will fight hard. Kids will be played. Kids will get exhausted. The draft will stay relevant. The plan will remain solid. The coach will coach and the board are to back him in. Carlton know they aren't a destination club. They know stars will chase for better elsewhere. They know some of their players may choose to leave and they know they are to try their best to prevent that from occurring. What else is there to say? Everything has been said. It's the harsh reality, but I know things will get better. Keep the faith and stick to the course because nothing stays bad forever. I have spoken.

Us fans all understand the recent horror dished up by this illustrious football club. I can't fault people for once giving up their loyalty when the times were extremely bleak. But now isn't the time. Our beloved Carlton Blues have finally comprehended the modern game. They're giving us reasons to be excited. They've brought in some of the most reliable men to get the place back on its feet. Think of Patrick Cripps and what more he can achieve with us. Think of the many other talented juniors that have stepped foot into the glorious Princes Park. 'Solidity' can no longer be questioned. All I ask for is one premiership, and I believe I will see it someday. Carlton is destined for more success sooner or later. I just know it. Blue-Baggers, our dream will come true and our time of ultimate glory awaits us. Hang in there!

Travis "TJ" James

LEGION: Power Of The Mind

I have to be honest here. When it comes to superheroes and other comic book content from both Marvel and DC, I don't possess much knowledge. Rarely have I ever sat down and stuck my head into either with the passion pop culture enthusiasts share. Other than one or two modern films, I own nothing related to the published works of fictional superheroes. Comics, figurines, clothing, collectibles and other associated merchandise are all pretty much a stranger to me. It can be said that I'm just not big on the stuff and it was never in my interests growing up. I did enjoy Spider-Man for a short bit through Sam Raimi and the occasional cartoon, but that was just about it. Even now with my investment in Greg Berlanti's Arrowverse, I still consider myself somewhat clueless and detached from the meaningful origins the world is centred around. Whether or not this changes remains unknown, as I naturally tend to build passions from things that fall in my lap. Never do I force myself to try something when the interest doesn't show.

One of the very few exceptions however, came in the form of a television series brought forward by Noah Hawley last year. A show called Legion, primarily based on the antihero of the same name from Marvel comics. It started off with me stumbling across several previews for new shows coming to American networks. The most intriguing of them being for a series titled Beyond. Around the same time came Legion, which didn't quite captivate me as much. The two upcoming projects despite differences in their content and finer details, shared a common mystical theme in their respective trailers which engulfed me. Having accidentally disregarded the specifics of both shows, I waited around to view Legion whilst thinking it was Beyond. It only took me a couple of minutes watching the first episode to realise that I mistaken the two. Little did I know then that the actual show of interest started a month earlier. Nevertheless, I persisted with Legion and fought through its bewildering ways.

Without giving too much away, the series centres around the character of David Haller who is played by actor Dan Stevens. David is first revealed to have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and sent to several psychiatric hospitals for treatment. He later finds himself in the clutches of a secret government organisation known as Division 3, not knowing or understanding why he's interrogated. That is until he is rescued by a small group of mutants (humans with an unusual genetic trait that sees them at some stage develop superhuman powers), and taken to a safe facility where he would learn of his unexplored abilities and train with them. But little does everybody including David himself know that something or someone hinders the process from inside David's mind and further goes on to mentally torture him. It becomes a battle for control and a race against the clock, as David and his new friends fight his parasite before being found and once again captured by Division 3.

More than a year has passed, and I have found myself completely and utterly mesmerised by Hawley's brainchild. Much to the point where I'm enjoying it more-so than Beyond, the show I initially favoured before viewing both of the pilots. On the first seasons alone, Legion had proven more indelible in its components and storytelling. It captured me with its lack of normality. Everything within it was oddly-constructed and shrouded by an atmosphere of mysteriousness. From the unusual character interactions to the slow pace and smooth transitioning of scenes, Legion was all about 'embracing each moment'. And it still is right now in season two. Just about every second of the story is made relevant through heavy use of absurd visuals with complex meaning. While I occasionally question what takes place and fail to gather certain ideas, I never feel like my time is wasted. Even when they test my patience, episodes of Legion always ensure that I take something out of the experience.

It was just recently I discovered my biggest connection with this series. Hawley has highlighted the importance of imagination and human creativity. One of the show's greatest strengths is it's alluring and elegant presentation of sounds and visuals. Every now and then, viewers such as myself are treated with sophisticated and well-planned material that signifies human ability, celebrates artistic brilliance and inspires visual and auditory evolution. Legion merges a range of contrasting elements in a sensible manner to bring forth something unprecedented while still fairly rational. Whether it be CGI, dance numbers, battles, silent films, pop music or even samples of work from older artists. Anything and everything is combined to provide audiences the ultimate adventure of its own kind. Most importantly, all of this is done with care and nothing is just slapped together for the sake of it. Legion isn't just a Marvel show for lovers of superheroes, comic books and pop culture. It's a contemporary masterpiece that caresses the finest qualities of art.

The picture at the very top of this piece is further proof of the show's artistic direction. This is arguably one of the greatest promotional posters for a television series in years. One can gather plenty from it by just gazing. In the poster, we have who's meant to be the main character David Haller. He is shown in monochrome with his hands placed towards his forehead as a mystified cloud of light and colour surrounds him, disseminating from his head and into the air. The thing that intentionally gets our attention is this light and colour. It further directs us to the source which is David's head and tells us where most of the importance lies. In this case, it's David's mind located at the very centre of the picture. Both the show and poster primarily aim to tell the story of a mind that's tricky, overpowered and potentially beyond control. But while seeing this, I also see approach to the story. The expanding cloud represents the countless possibilities and creative ways of delivering the narrative. The effort and strain shown by the David is the life given to imagination and the power of thought. The picture as a result emphasises the significance of not only the David's mind, but the human mind in general.

Another thing Legion does so amazingly well, is acknowledge the outside perspective. When planning the show, Noah Hawley had confirmed his desire of having the main character share the same vision as the audience. Much of David Haller is every viewer watching on. It is a journey together through a twisted reality, where thoughts and feelings of confusion and uncertainty are commonly possessed. People are intentionally left tense and searching for an explanation in regards to all of what occurs. Hawley has us not only sitting back and relaxing, but also keeping our brains active. While admiring the beauty of it all, Legion leaves us seeking the logical connection at the same time. It is the perfect blend of Art and Science, providing each and every person a chance at a deeper viewing experience. The eyes and ears of receivers have seldom been handed a greater responsibility. This series understands our position and further puts it through the ultimate test.

As stated before, Legion shows great care in the way it presents itself. Everything about it is put forward in delicate fashion. This includes the exemplary acting. All of the actors and actresses are in sync with their characters and create life within the fictional tale. Stevens especially after a little studying and a nudge by the crew in the form of hidden details, is given the room to build natural links with David Haller and understand where he comes from. It leads to a performance worthy of universal praise and numerous accolades. What's even better is that the exquisite delivery doesn't stop at Stevens. Taking crazy to a whole new level is the highly-respected Aubrey Plaza, who can be argued outshines the protagonist on many occasions. With her innate skills, Plaza grabs hold of an unsuited role and shapes it into something only she can bring to screens. Strong lines, choreography and the wacky manners of which she is portrayed have done nothing but leave people like myself in awe of the talented woman. Everybody else involved never at any stage, breaks or loses sight of who their characters are and what they stand for.

The series almost aces every aspect. I say almost because it still has its one or two shortcomings. Expert critics have pointed out possible imbalances in Hawley's intention. The biggest of them being the overwhelming desire to impress viewers with lights and sound at the expense of the story's flow. Some have suggested that the pacing as a result of the excessive attention towards stimulation, is slower than necessary. The progress made is considered to be very small, which would be a significant issue for a show with very few chapters. From my recent experience of travelling through social media, I've encountered plenty of regular viewers voicing this exact concern when discussing season two so far. As pleasing as the content can be, perhaps Hawley is to take it down a notch. The second problem often mentioned regards the difficulty of the narrative. Legion seems to over-complicate its story to the point where a certain number of people just can't comprehend it and keep on the track. I sometimes wonder whether this is the cause of decreasing numbers in ratings and viewership. While some enjoy the 'thinking' process, others find it to be an intolerable strain on the brain.

Nevertheless, Legion remains a rare gem in modern day TV. It has received critical acclaim for stepping away from traditional storytelling and enticing audiences with pure splendour. Noah Hawley had taken something so historical and dear to lovers of superhero material, only to add another dimension to it. This series is an abundance of twist and turns to prove appropriately unpredictable. It is a challenge for the intelligent and the strong-minded. And it's fun with a great purpose. Legion is a show that was made for people like me. People who see beauty for what it is and enjoy facing new obstacles. To think I did not see this was the case at first and that I held no interest in watching it. I guess it teaches me the lesson of not judging things too quickly. In this instance, I'm extremely glad I've proven myself wrong. Anything like Legion is always worth a try. For those who haven't seen the series, I highly recommend giving it the chance it deserves.

Travis "TJ" James

The TeeVee No More

As most of you who visit here often would already know, I do have a love for certain shows on television (The TeeVee In Me). You would've learnt of how it began for me with Teen Wolf. You would've also been apprised of my undying love for Once Upon A Time as well as my struggle with Arrow. But here is something that I haven't told you about myself in regards to TV. Over the past seven years, many shows have come and gone. The odd one or two would have a decent run while the rest couldn't win enough respect from the general public. Unfortunately for me, there were many I found myself interested in which weren't ever able to achieve renewal status. With underwhelming ratings, they failed to meet commercial expectations and were quick to be cut short by their networks.

I like to believe that each and every fan of scripted drama has had at least one series they enjoyed watching which didn't survive for long. I believe they have all came across promos (on TV or online) of short-lasting shows and decided to give them a try. I even go as far as believing they have seen them to be as good as shows still going around today. One thing that bothers me a little is how cancelled shows are commonly perceived to be of poor quality. Not all failed projects have looked terrible, especially those I've given my time to. Some of them have touched on the most fascinating of concepts. Others made themselves remembered for incredibly sublime sound/visual effects. A couple of them knew how to leave viewers on the edge of their seat. What I like to think usually causes shows with low ratings to face the chop, is poor marketing and lack of recognition. A few that I'm here to talk about, actually did suffer from this. I thought I would take some time to revisit five shows I liked that were forced to say goodbye sooner than they pleased. I explain how I found out about them, what caught my eye, what I liked and whether or not I still miss watching them. 

Here we go:

I not long ago discovered the news for myself. The American cable channel Freeform, decided to swing the axe at Beyond a week after it aired its season two finale. Can't I say I was surprised, given how it was registering underwhelming numbers in both ratings and viewership. I did however end up being disappointed. The reason wasn't so much me liking the show. As a matter of fact, I thought it was alright at best and nothing to sneeze at. My problem with the cancellation came straight after viewing the last episode. If your guess is the final scene, then you've hit the nail on the head. Beyond has become yet another one of those failed projects that leaves us hanging. The questions we are left with, will remain forever unanswered. Where was Arthur (Alex Diakun)? What happened to Willa (Dilan Gwyn)? What was next for Isaac Frost (Martin Donovan)? I'm well aware that this happens with a lot of unsuccessful works for TV. People believe they're doing a very good job with something, only for others to think otherwise and suddenly cut them off. It's something we all have to live with. I just can't help being left irritated by it. It's a personal behaviour of mine.

In some ways, it was a shame that Beyond couldn't last for very long. It's focus on an imaginative link between life and death, was one of the more intriguing ideas going around. It explored life in an altered state of consciousness. It taught us of 'faith' and how it presents itself in different ways. All of this can at times sound depressing, as they are based off topics we often question ourselves (Life's Too Short). However, this show primarily aimed to amuse us with one of many interpretations. I kind of enjoyed how we followed the story of Holden Matthews (Burkely Duffield). We learn of how a coma took up half of his life as what he gained and lost coming out of it. We obviously discover he has supernatural abilities after waking up. But what I loved most was that his incomprehension of a changed reality echoed. A few of his closest family and friends including Jeff McArdle (Jeff Pierre), brother Luke (Jonathan Whitesell) and girlfriend Charlie Singer (Eden Brolin), occasionally shared his confusion and tried figuring out what made sense and what didn't.

The fall of this series leaves me wondering whether the crew responsible for putting it together saw the probability of facing termination. Did they notice the lack of promotion and incredibly low ratings Beyond was pulling in? Did they ever prepare for the worst? After all, this show was an original program on Freeform and very few original programs survive for more than three years on this channel due to lack of viewers at prime time. Other than Pretty Little Liars, Switched At Birth, The Fosters and Shadowhunters, I can't think of any drama series that achieved much coming from Freeform. I guess the writing was always on the wall, even before the series began airing. Well at least Adam Nussdorf and the other executive producers can have one thing to feel proud about. Unlike most cancelled shows on Freeform and the others from different networks I discuss below, Beyond managed to deliver two seasons instead of one (albeit very short seasons).

The events of Once Upon A Time In Wonderland happen in the same universe as its parent series. The story followed Alice (Sophie Lowe), a young girl from Victorian England who told doctors of her adventures in a strange place down a rabbit hole called Wonderland. These doctors however wouldn't believe her and instead decided to try and wipe her memory of the place. Alice would go on to agree with the treatment, given her painful experience in Wonderland which saw the loss of her one true love, a genie named Cyrus (Peter Gadiot). Before she could be treated she is rescued by the Knave of Hearts (Michael Socha) and the White Rabbit (John Lightgow), who would inform her that Cyrus is alive. Alice then returned to Wonderland with the hope of finding him. But an evil sorcerer by the name of Jafar (Naveen Andrews) had plans for ultimate power that almost got in the way of Alice's search for love and happiness.

Despite my adoration for Once Upon A Time remaining strong, I've forever been unsure about where the spin-off sat with me. There was often the odd moment or two when it was hard to keep track of. The characters didn't seem like they could carry as good of a story and the CGI at times was rather iffy. But overall, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland was a joy to watch. Though not lasting for longer than thirteen episodes, I felt like I could have watched many more if they were to have continued. Andrews was brilliant in his short time playing Jafar and made the character so mesmerizing. I also loved the depth given to the Anastasia/Red Queen (Emma Rigby), and diving into her rocky past with Will Scarlet/Knave of Hearts. It was even great seeing the fair connection with the parent series, as we got to see Cora/Queen of Hearts (Barbara Hershey) and one of her experiences during her time banished in Wonderland. And it still surprises me how the show was able to cast such big names for voice roles like Whoopi Goldberg, Keith David and Iggy Pop. I do in fact miss this series a little bit, but at the same time it's hard imagining what else could have been written for it.

This drama/thriller series only had eight episodes that aired over the course of sixty-three days. It was basically about a housewife and mother of three named Marta Walraven (Radha Mitchell) whose drug-smuggling husband Evan was murdered. She decided to take it upon herself and look for answers to who killed him, only to find herself along with the rest of her family targets for a crime syndicate. She learns of the money stolen from an illegal operation by her husband and his business partners, one of which was her brother Irwin Petrov (Wil Traval) who would later be caught and locked up for his role in the offence. Marta's priority is then shifted to protecting her family and freeing her brother by returning the stolen money and working for the man she long believed was somewhat responsible for her husband's death, crime boss Nicholae Schiller (Goran Visnjic).

Can't really tell you much else about this one. But let me tell you what I do remember? I remember a school friend of mine having informed me of his interest in this drama. I remember watching the promos and having considered them as some of the most intense that I came across. I even remember thinking this wasn't my sort of show. That and the fact that it wasn't targeting people of my age (I was sixteen at the time). Some of you are probably wondering if I remember anything that actually happened in this series. Surprisingly I do. The one thing I remember quite well from Red Widow, happened in the last episode. Marta discovered that her father Andrei Petrov (Rade Šerbedžija) had ordered one of his men, Luther (Luke Goss) to kill Evan. One of the very last scenes I vividly recall was Marta looking at her father with disgust, before he was taken away in a police car. While I can't recall anything else, I think this was one series that ended without any door left open. I suppose that information is meaningless to me, since almost everything has been forgotten.

A sci-fi romance about an alien boy and human girl falling in love in the midst of a war between their respective races. Extremely derivative, don't you think? Sounds like yet another drama based off Romeo And Juliet. Not difficult to find this sort of material nowadays. So I couldn't blame anybody for having had an issue with this show at first. But once again, if you come around here often, you will know me well. I don't judge things until I have reasonable understanding of them (Beyond The Surface). Interestingly, that is something this show had taught viewers as well. From a distance, Star-Crossed can appear as if it lacked creativity. Yet somehow in some way for some reason, I took great pleasure in observing all it gave to me. The futuristic allure. The forceful personalities. The historical relevance. This particular show also went on to demonstrate the harshness of human arrogance along with the importance of thoughts and emotions. It reinterprets an infamous, social issue in a manner seen more politically correct. If I were to liken this show to food, it's something that looks plain but is packed with flavour. Strange analogy, but fairly accurate.

Star-Crossed took place in the not-too-distant future, where a species of aliens known as 'Atrians', landed on Earth only to be spurned by humans. It led to an ongoing conflict that kept both sides divided. A young Emery (Aimee Teegarden) would discover Roman (Matt Lanter), an Atrian boy hiding in her family shed. The two became friends until Roman was found by the military. Ten years later, they found themselves reunited with one another thanks to an integration program that saw seven Atrians attend the suburban high school. The two slowly developed strong feelings for each other. However, the war that separated them at first would yet again raise its ugly head. Much like Beyond, this show ended on a cliffhanger. The humans were left unconscious from a shockwave and Atrian warships invaded the planet. What happened next? We didn't find out and we never will. You should now know what I think about cliffhangers followed by nothing? Aargh! What frustrated me even more, was that I really loved watching the series at the time. I loved it so much, that I decided to dress up as an Atrian for year 12 muck-up day. Just stylish men's clothing and markings on my face. I didn't have much else.

Don't let the poor ratings fool you here. Star-Crossed may have been one of many short-lived dramas, but it didn't take much for it to grow a huge following. After The CW pulled the plug, 'Stargazers' (the name given to fans of the show) took to social media to not only express their disappointment but fight the decision as well. From online petitions and money donations to simple hashtags and photos. They even went as far as to send cold spaghetti to the network's offices. People also tried reaching out to Netflix, hoping they would pick up the show for a second season. Fans tried almost every way possible to turn the fate of the series around, and their efforts in doing so would be recognised in news headlines on TV. But unfortunately, everything they did was to no avail. It still wasn't enough. Months had passed and the fan-base slowly began to die off. It hurt me to see this happen, as I was sort of a 'Stargazer' myself. Oh well, at least they tried. Can't fault them for that.

Although it didn't last, it was nice seeing the little cousin of Stephen Amell get a chance to shine in his own show on the CW. This was an American remake of the original British series of the same name from the seventies. It's about a group of people that represent a more advanced stage of human evolution, known as 'Homo superior'. Referred to as 'The Tomorrow People', these special humans develop psionic abilities such as telekinesis, telepathy and teleportation. They hide themselves to prevent public fear and are forced to find a safe place to live, with an evil organisation called Ultra trying to destroy them. Protagonist Stephen Jameson (Robbie Amell) learns of his abilities and finds himself tuck between a rock and a hard place while working as a double agent under the eye of the head of Ultra, his uncle Jedikiah Price (Mark Pellegrino). This show like Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, was sometimes difficult to understand. Along with that, I remember very little from it. While it did grow a fan-base, I personally couldn't attach myself to this story as much as the other four. I suppose The Tomorrow People was something that needed more time to blossom. Quite unfortunate really. None of this is saying that I didn't like the show. I wouldn't be talking about it if I didn't appreciate it for what it tried to bring. But I can't help having seen it as one of the weakest shows I've followed. 

Here's a little something I find rather funny. The Tomorrow People was advertised down here in Australia on one of the free-to-air channels. It was soon to be scheduled on the particular channel as promised by the network responsible. Why is this funny you ask? Well the channel that promoted the series, never gone on to air it afterwards. For some undisclosed reason, the network decided to call off the show before it even got around to broadcasting the first episode. At first, one would think it was the cancellation that led to the change of plans. However, the show wasn't axed until days after the final episode aired in the United States and the Australian promos were released long before that happened (at least that is what I can remember). A situation like is extremely rare down here and this is the only time I've ever experienced it happen in front of me. In the end I managed to track down the only season of The Tomorrow People elsewhere and I watched all twenty-two episodes.

Travis "TJ" James

Very Superstitious

We're all separate individuals. Born and raised at different places and different times under different conditions. We control our own minds, makes our own decisions and are there to experience whatever happens in front of us. Most importantly, we stand by certain ideas based on how we believe they've impacted on us. We might claim to have seen the faint spiritual light or felt the cold contiguity of a spectre. We often suspect there to be other planets billions of light years away, sustainable for other life forms unknown to humankind. And then there is the idea of other planes or stages of existence. When it comes to myself, I don't usually go to extremes. I'm not the type of person that believes in the positioning of celestial bodies answering for one's set of behaviours. I'm not somebody at all devoted to Illuminati or any other form of conspiracies. I do however acknowledge the possibility of existing ideas or things in life that are beyond current human understanding. But that's a more complicated story and one I don't show much interest for. I'm simply here to share my individual characteristics, in particular one that is obvious when one reads the title. I believe in basic superstitions.

You've probably come across that idea of the small stormy cloud over one's head throughout many works over time, both on television or on paper. It's probably the most common representation of 'bad luck' going around these days. That's what I'm edging towards here. I like to think some of my biggest and easiest of experiences to remember were dictated by forces beyond my control and I like to think these forces have more often than not swayed the results against my favour. Sounds silly, but it was something I only began to pick up in recent years. Around the same time, I've sensed a few of the these undesirable consequences and irksome occurrences I've been involved with and found them looking too bad to be true. The first one or two had me thinking it was all just a painful coincidence. But when I perceived multiple of these happenings piling on top of each other, I had no choice but to raise the question of whether there was some sort of existing temporary curse. Of course, I too experience some good luck and have quite recently. But for some unknown reason, it's the bad luck I felt to have seen more of. So that's what I'm going to explore further here.

I've had countless times throughout my life so far that have left me questioning the existence of bad luck. A few of them I still remember quite vividly, in particular this one I'm about to explain from six years ago. I was in my tenth year of education, the year which the Government enforces a work experience program for teens stepping into the job industry. I had my plan for work experience in good state to begin with, and was showing great interest in working for a theatre company for five days. I placed the plan in front of my school's pathways officer, and asked if they could get in contact with the particular company I was looking at a month or two before the mid-year break. They happily obliged. What could possibly go wrong? Well for weeks, I was informed by the office that they were struggling to get in contact with the company and vice-versa, as their business got in the way. It would only be till the last day before the mid-year break, I was told I was unsuccessful getting in. Because the program was mandatory, I was left with my parents having to ring local retailers for a vacant position in the final minutes. We found a supermarket not far from my uncle's house further south, and quickly jumped on the opportunity. Come time, I was at the supermarket doing the same tasks over and over, not learning anything new. I was collecting trolleys in shitty weather while incompetent and disrespectful staff turned on me for even doing the right things. Not to forget I was paid the minimum dollar for my work. It became one of my most spiteful experiences, and one I wish to forget.

Here is another one of the more significant examples of misfortune for me, and it happened quite recently. I'm a dedicated supporter of the Carlton Football Club in the Australian Football League (AFL). Last year (a week or so after my 21st birthday party) I was given an authentic poster of the 2017 Carlton team as a present by my uncle, framed and protected by extremely fragile glass. From the moment I got it, I knew that it wouldn't be long for it to somehow in some way break and get damaged. Next thing you know, my dad knocks it over on the day we were moving houses and the glass shatters. The poster too had tiny chunks taken out of it. To add to the pain, my high level of carefulness still couldn't stop me from slicing one of my fingers whilst cleaning up the broken glass. What's even stranger about this, was how I found myself believing this would in some way have a negative affect on the club's performance throughout the 2018 season. So far, that too is coming true. Five weeks in and my team is not only still winless, but breaking all the wrong records. These series of events might all just be one big coincidence. Plus, I do regularly joke about my dad breaking the picture because he is a Collingwood supporter (though he really broke it by accident). However, I can't help but keep thinking there is more to this. The framed poster as of now still remains in my room, damaged and catching dust. And the promise made by my father to get the poster repaired, is still yet to be fulfilled.

There have been numerous small instances where I've found myself pulling out the shortest straw. Not many I specifically recall, but I do remember ending up as the unfortunate kid in them. I was someone at school usually afraid to take risks and break rules, as I often thought I'd be the one to get caught. But there were one or two times when peer pressure got the better of me, and it was no surprise to me that those moments didn't end sweetly. When fooling around with schoolmates, I rarely escaped the eye of approaching authority. But luckily the punishments weren't anything more than a warning. Other punishments included me being picked out of the crowd. I remember one time in my first year of high school when I was the only student kicked out of my class after everyone moaned about being handed certain work. And that's not the strangest thing to happen to me when it came to getting told off. I was even once pulled aside by a certain teacher, having no idea what they were punishing me for. How about that? Disciplined after doing nothing wrong. Surely that is a rare situation for any young person to be in. Unlucky times at school not associated with getting in trouble included me being allocated a cabin with my bullies (which I explain in greater detail in Hurts Like Hell). But then again, I had the chance to fix that and didn't. So I guess that's my fault. I also recall coming down sick during primary school and didn't attend the one day I won the whole story-writing competition (as briefly mentioned in The Room For Improvement). Hate having missed out on that glorious moment.

As for outside school hours, there's not much I can recollect. But there is one common theme that irritated me and I felt I had no control of it. I cannot count how many times I've either lost or misplaced valuable items. Despite my efforts in organisation and keeping an eye on my belongings when going out, there would always be a moment when I found myself unfocused. The pockets of my clothes had not been as friendly as thought they'd be. I've once lost a fifty dollar note and even a camera (which I found when I quickly ran back to where I visited). And there was even an entire day spent on finding my wallet which not only stressed me out, but my parents as well (wallet was found that night camouflaged with my desk chair in my bedroom). Based on what I know now, there isn't any super bad occurrence I can remember happening outside of school. But there was one that nearly came to be. More than ten years ago, I almost found myself the victim of a bashing by young drug-influenced men near my house. I was waiting for my parents to come home that night, when they ran into me in the one minute I was out the front. Can't remember exactly what it was but something I said saved me from further trouble that night. You could say it was a close shave. An extremely close shave. Sure my unlucky experiences aren't overly terrible, but everyone would agree that they're unpleasant. You just don't wish to suffer them at any time.

I've seen black cats. I've opened umbrellas indoors. I've even broken mirrors (three to be exact and by accident of course). But despite how much these tiny happenings often get associated with the idea of bad luck and misfortune, I still resist to blame them for my woes. So what is it I do point the finger towards when it comes to my misfortune? Strangely enough, I see it being the way I present myself to others. At no stage do I in any way, openly puff my chest out and act cocky about my chances at succeeding. At no stage do I pretend I can see or read the future and act like good things are going to come my way. And never do I disregard a valid point when I see one. There is one thing I do tend to believe affects me. That is if I act selfish or conceited, it will always come back to bite me. And when I'm wrong, the price becomes much heavier to pay. That's why I try hard in looking like I lack enough confidence to still stand on my own two feet and walk into every activity open-minded. I tend to believe the chances of the desired results are greater from thinking like this.

You probably could see a problem or two with this mentality I adopted. The most obvious one being that it can make me come off as rather pessimistic. That glass-half-empty type that's open to seeing the worst in any situation. I will admit that I do now and then look at the negatives and foolishly label them as facts. I may raise doubts over the positive outcomes others predict. People have pulled me aside for this and have admitted of their discomfort, but never do I intend to lead them to feeling that way. It's just to myself, my pessimistic view has more often than not become true. Many of the results from my past experiences have stepped towards the worst case scenario (and many yet to come will do so as well). The amount of these unfortunate happenings add up, further weighing me down and making it harder for me to see the light. It's important to know however, that I'm not entirely downbeat. Secretly in that mind of mine, I do acknowledge every possibility. I'm always wanting to be proven wrong. I'm hoping to myself that the best result of each and every situation comes to pass. And when things aren't going my way, 

I'm thinking of new effective strategies to help me fight the tough battles.

The thing about It's The Self That Matters, is that it's my attempt at creating a safe haven. A place where individuality is key. Where people can feel free to open a little more of themselves up and not be afraid of revealing something that they might see as being embarrassing. I can honestly tell you that I'm not at all completely comfortable with talking about this trait of mine. There in fact will be a lot of things I won't feel entirely comfortable discussing about here such as certain music, kids television, my love for colour, etc. But refusing to discuss this sort of stuff would stand against the intention of this blog. Here's another example of someone I know being up front. A friend of mine recently confirmed to me that they now and then get 'turned on' by my work in encasing myself with gear (A Name Without A Face). At first you may think they're strange (I didn't at all), but when you gain a proper understanding you grow to respect them for that. It all comes back to this blog. We are all different. So don't be afraid to get something out in the open here. I promise to not laugh or criticise, because I can assure you there are much stranger things going around the web nowadays.

Travis "TJ" James