Unfathomable

You often see it. You'll then either reply or ignore it. But have you ever stop to think about it. I'm not afraid to say that I do. I'm speaking of course about negative social behavior, in particular that seen around the internet. It's not hard to find. Just scroll down to the comments section of any popular page. You're bound to find at least one published comment that stands against the rest. It's forever unavoidable. We laugh at them and think to ourselves, 'what an idiot'. We enjoy the drama they create with other people on the page. But what about asking ourselves that one damning question? Why? Why on Earth do people do this? It's the case with me all the time. I mean sure everything is going to have its share of followers and haters. And the ratio of likes to dislikes often depends on what kind of impact a particular something has on the people. But there is always that need for me to question that very small percentage of the hate group. Whether they are extreme haters or trolls. Then again I basically refer to anyone of the sort as a troll.

Let's start off with the basics. What is an internet troll? We mainly know them to be idiots hiding behind phones and computers, who seek thrill in tormenting others with extremely flawed preconceptions. They regularly tend to jump away from the topic of discussion, talk (or think) highly of themselves and trigger emotional responses from those within their reach. A troll's tone appears quite loud and mouthy and their language sees them coming off as childish and immature. They are the lowest of the low. But despite their defective attitude and low-class behaviour, trolls often succeed in their attempts to upset other internet users as it's mostly about getting attention. That's why when it comes to dealing with trolls, all are advised to ignore them and not give their posts any attention whatsoever (e.g. don't reply to them or like their comments). However, most social media platforms and other sites encourage users to report abusive behaviour or mark any trolling as spam.

So how do you tell if somebody is a troll or is trolling? While there may come the odd one or two outliers, most are really easy to detect. First step is to look at the structure of their post. Most trolls tend to become incredibly lazy and stick with either one of upper case or lower case letters. Most don't bother with punctuation and don't care how many spelling mistakes they leave behind. Their posts make them sound like they are rambling on about nothing of importance. Second step is to see the specific words they use. They will use modern-day internet lingo just about every single time. This will include abbreviations and other shortcuts. And they may even still abuse that slang. Take 'LOL' for instance, which stands for 'Laugh Out Loud'. Many trolls I've come across will instead turn this into 'LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL' to indicate to others how much joy they take out of what they're reacting to. Finally there is the third step, which is the message. Just determine whether or not it is constructive criticism. Check to see if it takes into account what it's actually replying to and that it doesn't deviate by attacking the original poster. If it's not doing this, then it's most likely a troll.

This ridiculous activity has however confused the minds of many people. At least that's what I personally like to think. Over the years, the barriers have become much thinner and a lot of us have lost sight of what is properly classified as internet trolling. It's gone as far as being simply people in disagreement and standing against another's point of view. Don't believe it? I was recently banned from a particular area on a forum after delivering a personal and reasonably considerate view of a particular topic of discussion. Much like everybody else, I gave a well-detailed view of how I saw something. Suddenly a bunch of challengers came by with little to add but insult and not long afterward a moderator took it to heart and stripped away my privilege to contribute any further to the topic. After finding out about the punishment for myself, I was a little bemused. But mostly it was me chuckling. Somebody basically called me a troll. Was I trolling? Of course I wasn't. I know better than to harrow others with meaningless and unsubstantiated drivel. I'm instead left to believe that some thin-skinned person couldn't handle a differing opinion. It was an opinion that may have had some inaccuracies, but was as worth as much as every other opinion on that thread.

If you want to know what actual troll content looks like, here are some examples (one or two are real comments from people):

1. 'hi there! i am hope we can to talk cuz i am feel horny right now want to exchange phone numbers'.
2. 'Shutup c***. I f****d ur mum last nite. She luved it up the a**!'.
3. 'LOL you know nuthin'.
4. 'Can we petition to remove that A****n bitch from the show?'
5. 'WE WILL BOUNCE BACK!! ALL MY FRIENDS, MY GF, PEOPLE AT MY FOOTY CLUB, THE UMPIRES WHOM I WORK WITH AND THE PARTNERS OF ALL THE PLAYERS AT MY FOOTY CLUB SAY WE WILL!! WE WILL NOT WAIT FOR ANOTHER 37 YEARS!! SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'.
6. 'Hey man! Can you please follow me and subscribe to my channel? I make good stuff'.
7. 'Estelle can go die in a hole'.
8. 'Nobody cares what you think!'.
Notice what these all have in common. They're all in some ways negative behaviour. It's mostly long rants, dirty minds, horrible insults, racial slurs, self-promotion and even fooling others into having them give away their personal details.

Arguing with a troll is no exciting experience. Take it from somebody who like many others, has fallen victim to the idea that one would receive plenty of merit for putting a troll in their rightful place. Like such things as drinking, smoking and gambling, it can be an addiction. It's hard to resist that urge to correct them whenever they are wrong, regardless of whether or not they will accept the truth. It's hard not to fight fire with fire and stoop down to their level. It's hard not wanting to point the finger and turn the majority against them. Sometimes, you just wish that logic and reason would shut them up. That morality will teach them a lesson. It's completely understandable. What you're trying to do is be a good person and help set a decent standard for the rest to stick to. However fighting off trolls never turns out as well as we hope it to. They are like cockroaches. Hard to kill off. And there are always that tiny group of small-minded folk that encourage them with a thumbs up.

You wouldn't believe how many internet trolls I have encountered throughout my venture through the worldwide web over the past few years. I have seen them and have even faced some myself. It's not ever something I look forward to. In fact, I occasionally regret whenever I get involved. Just about all the time, it's me spending my precious minutes on arguing with someone who won't ever change views. They're like a brick wall. I don't look forward to what they come back with. I don't like arguing for hours. And I'm afraid if I ever step out of line (something which I have done now and then). I've never walked away with my head held high, thinking I won the battle. Instead I'd myself left with a bag of mixed emotions. Most of the time it's either feeling uneasy with my encounters or confused by their motives. Being an online vigilante may sound glorious in some ways, but the truth is that there is little reward in the role. Nothing much is gained.

Yet I think we can all agree that while fighting the social abusers isn't all that rewarding, it makes a lot more sense than being the social abusers. It's a question that deserves repeating because it's so perplexing. Why troll? What can one possibly gain from spending a fair chunk of their time, insulting others or acting like a child on social media? I can't seem to think of a valid reason. As a matter of fact, I don't think anybody can because there isn't one. Unless of course these people enjoy a bad image or simply feed on others discomfort, which would make them sad and worthless morons. There are so many beautiful things on this planet that keep people entertained. Art, music, film, television, books, fashion, video games, sport, food, travel, hanging with friends, etc. With all of this, internet trolling shouldn't exist. It isn't funny. Almost everybody doesn't like it. It's never wanted nor needed. So why is an internet troll a thing? There is one word the perfectly describes it for me. Unfathomable.

Travis "TJ" James

The Challenge

You might be familiar with that idea of how teenagers and young adults wear themselves out by going beyond the limit in hopes of obtaining a good body image. Well when it comes to me, I'm sort of in a similar boat. The key word being 'similar'. I'm not making regular visits to the gym and overworking my muscles (though I do plan to hit the weights very shortly). I'm merely wanting to hang my hat on something more. When I look in the mirror right now, I see nothing great. Just a scrawny, slouching, talentless nobody forever envious of those around him. It does seem like I do lack a fair chunk of self-esteem and I can't argue with that. But in spite of my overwhelming shortage of gifts, I still stand knowing that there is always hope and I have to chase it out the front door. Hence why I began 'The Challenge' on the very last day of October. It's another genuine attempt to motivate myself and have me return to my former glory.

Former glory you ask? Well you may not know this, but I was quite athletically gifted back during my school years. Fellow classmates often admired my exceptional ability to keep up with the more popular students in the school yards. I vividly remember the day I was competing with my grade four and five classmates at some indoor high jump twelve years ago. Outlasted some of the sportier kids to have my name temporarily chanted and end up finishing second behind an older student. My endurance was above average level for most years and I had won a few small accolades for my efforts on the track. My beep test results were around the 10 to 12 mark, which was decent for a young man of my age at the time. And my final months of school saw me as a regular participant at basketball during the lunch break. Found myself to be more of a long-distance shooter given my lack of muscle, but a few friends were surprised with my efforts to intercept along with my ability to find the ring. Overall, I was seen as a bit of a dark horse in most physical activities. It was kind of uplifting.

So what changed? How did I go from a worthy sporting opponent in the school yard to an absolute wreck? I would be lying if I said that laziness and having no motivation didn't play a small role. But it would be irony coming to bite me. The place that got me moving, had me come to a stop. My final year of physical education was 2012. And my preferred areas of study leant more towards the Arts and Psychology, which had P.E. shelved. The workload placed onto me during my VCE years jumbled my brain and left me following an unhealthy routine (one which I still somewhat follow today). The anxiety and depression began to creep in and I gave myself no time to step out and maintain my fitness levels. I couldn't manage my time in any way. I wanted to study, but I didn't wish to approach it in the way school wanted me to. My body began deteriorating and I was eating less. I was in a miserable state, and neither of my parents nor could the school do anything about it.

These three or four years outside school had seen me become not much better. I was still battling anxiety and setting myself tasks without applying complete focus on them at the necessary times. It still happens now and then. I was telling myself I would snap out of it, but my actions were saying otherwise. I was making myself promises I couldn't keep. While this was happening, I applied for many jobs on the odd occasion only to be knocked back for every single one. Never even passing the first stage. That was until late last year when I had a job interview a little further down south from where I live. Walked in and spent time filling forms and putting myself forward, only to be rejected and told to look elsewhere. A few weeks came a job trial for upholstery, stuffing caravan cushions. Entered with confidence only to walk out as deflated as I ever have been. What was meant to be a day's work only lasted for 40 minutes. The urge to give up was staring me in the face, but I tried with all my might to continue searching for my place in the job industry.

Earlier this year, I was fighting the worst anxiety I ever experienced. One that I hid from my family and lasted for almost three months (with the worst of it hitting me right at the very end for a string of five days). I saw it having stemmed from both my brother (who too was suffering a similar illness around the same time) and the family moving house. It involved me raising some significant questions surrounding life and death, and the fear of being alone when I reached the end. As a result, I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating well. I was slowly killing myself off and I refused to take any medication. The trough was so incredibly deep that you'd think nobody could get out without the helping hand of another, but I somehow managed. The cure was facing the demon. Searching for answers online and reading the views of other people. Suddenly, I felt this huge weight off my back. I was able to lock away this demon and throw away the key. You might find it hard to believe that something so painful was dealt with so easily. Believe me, I also share that view. It was like a miracle sent from the Gods. But now, I'm just grateful that the worst has passed.

Slowly got back on my feet. Came across an ad in the paper for wanted film and TV extras and that is when things started looking up (My First Experience As An Extra). But after my first role, I knew more was expected from me. Joined the popular social media platforms and revealed my face to strangers with the hope that I would build some mental strength (Taking The Leap). Then came the sudden realisation of where I sat. Explored some of the things people recorded themselves having done and once again felt a rush of envy coming through. I saw people having recorded their amazing talents, their joyous activities, their explorations of the world and their money-making businesses. It made me feel ashamed of myself. I was still somewhat trapped in a bubble, going nowhere. No job. No money. No real friends. Never a girlfriend. It was like I was being told to curl up in a ball and cry in a corner. My wanting to give was and is taking some hits and the numbers were stacking up against me. So I had to make a change.

So how come it's taken so long for me to take action? Why am I starting now? I guess it was because of how rigorous and tough the ride was going to be. However, it wasn't so much putting in the effort that I worried about. It was fearing that I'd get no reward out of it. The fear that my efforts would go unrecognized. Not having the support from other people to see me climb to the top and achieve my desired goal. I didn't (and still don't) want to be alone on the journey to retrieving the parts of me that I once lost. I don't want to be alone when I aim to obtain something new. I can't tell you how much it's felt like I had no one to look towards. The only people that ever stood by me were the elders that treated me like everybody else. They couldn't see the individual in me. They couldn't see what I wanted. And my closest friends are rightly living their own lives, yet are making more progress than I am. I think we can all agree that I'm an average guy, but I feel like I much less than that. It might possibly be another reason why I like mystery and hiding myself in gear (A Name Without A Face). To hide my pain.

I thought I'd hurry and start what I simply call 'The Challenge'. Not a super exciting or inspiring name for my attempt at recovery, but it does represent how serious I am about my wish to be a better person. At the moment, it is mainly getting fit. Walking, jogging, running and moving my feet regularly. It will even involve kicking the footy, playing tennis and building up muscle with weights. And it may go beyond exercise at some point in the future. But first, I need to get out there and move as I'm lacking vitamin D and am getting cramped up by doing bugger all. And I want to do it anyway. I love the outdoors. The warm sun, the green grass, the chirping birds, etc. Nature is there to be embraced. So here I am embarking on a new mission that will not only allow me to do so, but will also help me improve on my health. An uphill battle, but one I believe a few will back me on. It may not be what some of my followers wish to see, but I reckon it will see me bring about what they desire more effectively. We all just need to be patient and see what 'The Challenge' brings for me. Wish me luck!

Travis "TJ" James

Taking The Leap

Earlier this year (in March), I completed a piece which focused on my passion for mystery and gearing myself up (A Name Without A Face). In this piece, I explained about my hesitation to take off the hoods and reveal who I truly was. I was cautious and my stance was solid. I was all about studying what risks to take. But just recently, I came to notice a growing disconnection between myself and all that surrounded me. I took another good look at my co-existing kind and caught a glimpse of their strength. Then it hit me. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to pull myself away from the crowd. I didn't want to be seen as gutless nor did I want to leave my work without both name and proper meaning. So I found my friends and followed them on the journey. And that meant having to make this life-changing decision. It happened sooner than I expected, but I'm beginning to see the benefits and in no way am I wanting to take it all back.

So what brought about my decision to unmask myself and reveal my face to the world? It began for me just a week or so ago, around the time I was filming for my first television appearance (My First Experience As An Extra). Off set I saw just about all of my fellow extras on their phones, scrolling down the feed of their social media profiles and adding each other as friends. That is when the truth hit me. Having not owned a Facebook or Twitter page at the time, I sensed a significantly large distance between myself and the rest of the group. I was all alone and more close to making myself look silly. It was nothing but me fighting a losing battle against the current way of life. It only took two days for me to finally succumb to the demands of today's society, especially when I'd find out the news on the Saturday night between the days of shooting that Google was closing the doors on its underwhelming competitor to Facebook. The only social networking service I was using up until that time. Embarrassing it may be, but I knew there was no point in continuing on. I weighed up the pros and cons, and officially decided to Sign up to each of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram that night. Since then, I've been a regular user of Instagram and Twitter and have been pushing to get the best out of myself. That included bringing forward the date when I would decide to turn my life around. When I would finally take off my hoods and carry on with my work as the real Travis James.

In my first piece of 2018 called 'The Revival', I wrote about having a friend from school who inspired me. He helped me discover my heart's desire to give and share my creations. But while this smart man did most of the heavy lifting, there was one thing he wasn't able to teach me. And that was to follow my heart's desire as my true self. For years I've been creating art without a tag. There were no signatures or symbols. I knew it was my gear and I knew it was me inside, but I wasn't ever proving it to others. Never even tried to. Took me quite a while to see this, but I eventually did. And it was through the unintended help of another talented young soul. One I only hung around with for three days during my first minor acting role. He was super friendly. His joyous attitude was infectious and after I took a look at his history of work, I was in awe. This kid knows what he wants. So direct and so full of confidence. He has every right to think highly of himself. Not only that, he help me expand my brand and explore new areas of interest. Both of these guys are absolute marvels and they would know who they are after reading this. They have more talent in one finger than I have in my entire body. And they are both younger than me. Go figure!

There's probably no getting away from the common argument of being strong or weak when it comes to identity reveal. The fact if I didn't show my face, I was in some ways a coward. Usually I don't support this idea, as I like to think there is more to it than just whether or not one has the guts to put themselves out there. I mean my time in the shadows was primarily based on thoughts and recent visions of the world I live in. It was the impossible promises put forward to me about the safety of personal information on the web. It was the unknown types of people I could possibly find myself colliding with. It was the fear of not knowing what I'd do in this unfamiliar territory. Overall my choice seemed to be more dependent on cognition than toughness. However I won't pretend that the search for courage didn't play a small part in my move to proper reality. I travelled through the many social media accounts of my old fellow school students, to find that they weren't at all afraid to share their natural visage. If these friends and close acquaintances of mine could all do it, why couldn't I?

Do I regret the move now? Well much to my own surprise, I don't whatsoever. For so long I believed that hiding behind fabrics and other material would build my walls. But little did I know while I was doing that, I was also encouraging the outside world to break them. I was making the people I reached hunger for answers. Eyes would follow and minds would wonder. Adopting an unusual behaviour is guaranteed to place the spotlight on people. And I just recently learnt that I was one of those people who was nowhere near prepared for any spotlight. I needed to work my way up, and that meant having to sacrifice much of where I stood. I kept believing that hiding myself would extend my personality. That it would make me more enjoyable to hang around with. But it doesn't seem to have worked as well as I would've liked it to. I suppose I am partly to blame. I just didn't try hard enough and remained too afraid with how the rest would react. So rather than lock myself away from the outside, I thought it was time to face life and seek improvement as my own genuine character. To let others see me for who I am and gain from whatever I bring to the table.

And just as I was typing this, a sudden wave of knowledge came over me. There's no such thing as safety, we are all open to danger anywhere and at any time. We're not even safe in our own home. Life at times is mostly a test of how much we can learn and how much of what we learn is taken with us moving forward. To be honest, I'm quite proud of where I sit here. I've grown up in a family where common sense often prevails. When it comes to risks, I think before I act. More-so than ever before, and especially after years of thoughtless actions (The Room For Improvement). There are risks that I want to take in life and I do wish to experience and learn any consequences for myself (It's My Life). And there are a few things I keep hidden about myself from others, knowing that they wouldn't truly understand despite how much they say they would. That is just a strong trait of mine. I'm all about going in head first, ensuring that the choices I make do me well. So far, I'm led to believe that this choice was a good one.

Now that I've come out of my shell, I have without doubt brought up new questions. What can Travis James do? Where is his place in this world? Who should he look towards for answers? Can his new work have impact? Can his old work maintain value? Most of the answers to these questions remain foggy. However, I know what I signed up for. It was a long process of considering the advantages and disadvantages. It was looking at where the flaws might be. The decision to take the leap wasn't by any means an easy one. To give into what I had long shunned and even put my name and face out there on the web feels so surreal. Now and then, I find it hard to believe that I'm on these social media platforms after surviving for so long without them. But I knew I eventually had to surrender and join the vast majority. It was only a matter of when and it happened quicker than I first thought. Hopefully this is the continuation of something great for me along with my work as a film/television extra.

But I guess the biggest question that might be on nearly everyone's mind is whether or not I will say goodbye to the gear and excessive dress-up. To be honest, I don't think I ever can. Mystery is one of the few concepts in art that I feel is both my passion and my strength. It was also my foundation and led me to this point of time. It taught me the tiniest bit about being a louder voice and a lighter personality. Giving that up would be much like taking the bottom block away from a tall stack. The stack is most likely not going to remain standing. Besides, I believe that there is always the opportunity to breathe new life into this hobby of mine. Like I can make something different out of it. As a matter of fact, I think I already am with a few of my Instagram pictures. My artistry will never cease to exist. So to those who have followed me for quite some time, you now officially know what TJ looks like. An average-looking kid. Nothing special. Then again that is just a personal view of mine. I usually let others be the judge of that. Haha! 

Travis "TJ" James

My First Experience As An Extra

Just recently I finished my first role for a television mini-series. My mother straight afterward told me to document my experience to ensure I remember as much of it as I possibly could going forward. I without any hesitation whatsoever, agreed. After all, it was my first genuine job and the first thing I was getting paid for since that horrid year ten work experience six years ago (Very Superstitious). I saw this as a step towards greater things. So I just had to find a way to record what I can as soon as possible while the memories were still fresh. And what a better way to do so than another blog piece (makes it easier for me). With this and the dates kept aside, I will have no problem in reminiscing the fun and joy I had doing this activity. I can also honestly tell you that I'm still finding this hard to believe. I actually did some acting. Never thought I could even say such a thing either. Somebody pinch me to prove to me that I'm not dreaming.

Why the disbelief you ask? Well for more than three years I've been sitting on the sidelines, battling inner demons and trying to take the first step of my career whenever I felt prepared to do so. But along came many deflating moments which included countless knock-backs (approximately eleven may I add from the same retail chain), a pointless job interview and an all-day job trial which saw me let go within 40 minutes. Not to mention the extremely severe anxiety I suffered yet hid from my family within the months of April, May and June. I was as low as I could possibly get. But now and then, I've been asking myself why I am still here. Why do I still make the effort to befriend new people and give them something of my own? Why do I still anticipate exploring the world I live in? I overcame the toughest of obstacles to now find myself having recently finished my first acting role. If you ask me, that's living proof that there is always hope. Each and every person has a specific path lit for them. They just have to find it.

One day there came the community paper, which went on to advertise an agency dedicated to people who wished for their work to be recognised on screen. I woke up that day within my very unhealthy routine to hear my mother share the details. Took one look at the ad and decided on checking the website. Liking what I saw, I straight after notified both my parents that I was going to try it out. I knew the reasons for doing so, and I'm pretty sure my parents did as well (even before all of the times I reminded them of these reasons). This was the ultimate opportunity. An opportunity to answer for a man such as myself with little to no intriguing talents. An opportunity to both meet and perform alongside professional people. An opportunity to give me something to work with and an opportunity to do what I always enjoy doing (giving to people). There was no ignoring the advertisement. I simply had to put myself forward. This was my calling!

I registered to join this special job agency and gave myself something to do. I went through the rigmarole of taking buses and trains to attend a morning information session twenty kilometres away from home. I tried to scrounge up the money to become a member. I've been throwing myself at every opening emailed to me so far. An act of desperation? I agree. I went in believing there were not many casting calls in search of an average-looking, scrawny male in his early twenties. Probably being a little harsh on myself, but it does look to be true since I have only received two casting calls in three months. Of course, the acting industry remains non-discriminatory. People of different shapes, sizes, ages, colours and ethnicities work throughout both film and television. There's no disagreeing with that. So I knew there was bound to be at least one place for me here and I wasn't going turn it down at any time. Just had to remind myself that there were always going to be very few chances.

The second opening for a crime drama fell in my lap. I didn't hesitate with letting my agent know I was available for any time the crew wanted me. Not long afterward, I was informed that I got the part and would be booked in for a costume fitting near the docks of the city. I would prepare for anytime I received the details of specifically where and when the fitting took place and focus hard on my plan to get there. Eventually reached my destination on time with the help of my father and a friend of his. But what was leaving me worried was where the filming was going to take place. For days, my family and I were planning for the unknown. That is until the first call sheet arrived in my inbox. Much to our disbelief, the filming was only METRES away! A walking distance between home and the set. I just couldn't believe my eyes after reading the details of the filming location. All I can say is, praise the move a little further down south. The Gods were with me!

In regards to filming, I have experienced such a thing take place in front of my eyes. My family is close friends with a rock musician who has been responsible for a movie soundtrack and a tribute act. I have travelled to the south border to watch him film a music clip and even had to help him film a 3-4 minute trailer that took all day (that was also one of the coldest days I've ever experienced). It doesn't surprise me at all with how time-consuming this stuff is, as it's all about achieving the perfect results. So this first minor acting job of mine wasn't going to be a snap of the fingers. Allow me to share with you what was required from me. Now I unfortunately can't give much away in regards to what was specifically filmed due to the fact that I basically signed a confidentiality agreement. Like Las Vegas, what happens on the set, stays on the set (until the final product has been released). Besides, I don't really want to give anything away. Where's the fun in spoiling the show details? When it comes to something like this, I kind of enjoy the element of surprise.

Day 1

The first day was always going to be nerve-wracking, especially given the fact that I was about to do something I wasn't at all familiar with. Despite the close location, I walked into a giant room full of strangers. Then again, I guess that's pretty much the case when one walks into any job for the first time. Went through the everyday process of getting changed, make-up and signing forms. But it was the very little time I had in learning some olden day dance moves that put the pressure on me. Yep, you didn't misread it. I had to dance on my first day. Having learnt that myself then, I knew I was bound to make a fool out of myself. Nothing was going to save me from my two left feet. Was also required to get my 'in the moment' face ready and pull off a couple of reactions. Excitement and shock. Didn't think I was perfect but hopefully a nice cut of me is found. Last couple of hours was just sitting in the corner of the neighbouring room, waiting for the tick of approval to sign out and get some rest so I was prepared for some more filming the very next day.

Day 2

Failed to look any better for day two after a lack of sleep. Had to wake up early and get in contact with the superannuation company I joined to hurry with activating my account. Came to work looking a bit of a wreck and decided to tell the lady styling my hair to cover up the dark patches under my eyes. Had a change of tops for my first scene of the day and walked outside to then find out I had to hurry and learn the lyrics of a sixties song. Thought I wouldn't need to as much considering my parents were living jukeboxes, but it was a little more difficult than I imagined despite how much I was required to remember. Went back to change in my day 1 clothes and film a couple of night scenes. Wasn't as cold as I thought it would be, but seeing as my arms were exposed, I decided to wrap the blanket around them in case. Handed my mobile phone in, only to be worried most of the time about how I was going to get it back. Ended up worrying for no reason.

Day 3

Last day of filming was on the following week. Wore two different tops for scenes completely different to those I was previously filming. We were back indoors and once again, dancing and reacting. Struggled to hold my laughter in a couple of times during rehearsal, while an early version of something was being performed in front of me. I was instead meant to look puzzled but my extremely loose sense of humour was getting the better of me. Towards the evening I shot my last scenes. Returned to looking foolish while it was expected of me to be my most energetic. But in spite of my flawed performance, I felt strangely comfortable with where I sat. Don't know if it was the shirt I was wearing, the conditions I was performing in, or the fact that my services were nearing their end. I was eager to get back in the scene and I was relieved after completion of the hard work. As a result, I walked away from the set on day three with mixed emotions.

The Extra Details

Are there any secrets I can share with you? Although they're close to insignificant, there were a few personally embarrassing things that happened. Despite the fact that I wore a strong antiperspirant deodorant for each of the days, it still somehow didn't stop me from leaving wet patches under the arms for most of the clothes I worse. Luckily nobody noticed that. One of the scenes I filmed involved me dancing to music, the camera was facing my direction and caught me stopping for two seconds while the music was still rolling (hopefully they use the second take where I didn't stop). I was even making mistakes on break. Made myself hot chocolate twice, with boiling water instead of boiling milk (then again, I suppose it guarantees for a low-fat hot chocolate). Another secret of mine which none of the crew knew about was how I had to wear another pair of pants underneath the pair given to me. My waist is very small and no belt was provided. Didn't want my pants to fall down whilst on set.

So there you have it. An experience which didn't see me bring my best, but it will remain one for me to forever cherish. If I didn't know how important it was to shoot the perfect scenes, now I do. And I am not at all fussed about it. In fact, I really want to do it again because I had a blast. I want to meet new people and prove that I can go one better. Then again, I'm going to miss this crew. Such a respectful lot. And my fellow extras were just so enjoyable to hang around. Huge personalities that are easy to get along with and each has seen more of the world than I have. It was only three days, but damn it felt like three school years. I made new friends, dealt with professionals and got a small taste of the Australian acting industry. Obviously excluding money in the pocket, you couldn't ask for anything more (although it would've been great to ask about the battered and seasoned fish I consumed on day one because that was f***ing delicious).

Travis "TJ" James